Personal, Life-Giving Knowledge; Not Academic

In this morning’s New Testament in a Year text (John 5:25-47, NRSV), I found a passage that well describes me before coming to a spiritual awakening, which happened to me as a result of living the Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous:

³⁹ “You search the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that testify on my behalf. ⁴⁰ Yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

This is a reminder that, without relationship, religion is futile. Bible knowledge that astounds my fellows will not impress the Father. Kingdom work that rescues wounded and inspires multitudes will not endure. Casting out demons and performing miracles may still be answered, “I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23). What matters is my answer to God’s loving call, which seems to say, “I demonstrated by my life, death and resurrection that you are worth dying for. Will you love me by living with, by and for me forevermore? Will you follow me instead of your cares and concerns and make me the charge of your past, present and future? Will you return to me, to be in and of me, as I intended when I created you?”

Today’s meditation from Our Daily Bread related a whale’s surfacing for air before living in its habitat below the surface to a human’s need for spiritual refreshment – no, sustenance – before being able to go about our routines of daily ministry. Without this “spiritual air” we cannot survive as we get along with our business below. Still, we cannot rest forever at the surface or we do not fulfill our purpose. Neither can we suspend ourselves more than a moment in the light and wind of our spiritual Father’s embrace as we breach the surface in worship. Our lives, for this brief existence, are predominantly lived in the depths. It is there we find our purpose and provision, though we return even hourly to kiss our maker with great repetition or die to the murky depths below.

Dear Father, today, keep me connected with you and breathe into me Your divine breath of life, that I may live out Your will for me, here on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Jesus is God!

I wanted to share this declaration I made during a conversation with a dear friend yesterday, not to divulge the identity of or embarrass my fellow, but because this statement really constituted my devotional statement for the day.

I come from a long line of staunch Bible-thumping men and women who claimed to be Christians but who spent most of their energy trying to prove everyone else wrong and beating down those close to them. It is likely that none of them would be pleased with the content grace in which I live and have my serenity. They were the Pharisees (Matthew 23) of this age, and I was one too, until I knelt with my sponsor and truly took Step Three at the feet of Him who had done so much for me and yet to whom I had done so much harm – Jesus Christ.

I believe that Jesus is the fulfillment, answer, and completion of every revelation of God to man. The Bible is the proof that the “Great Spirit” of the universe is God, that the Creator of nature’s beauty is God, the line of Law is God, the motivating energy of all life is God – and that every expression of that God was brought together and introduced to mankind in the person of Jesus Christ. (Christ means “anointed one” and refers to His being The One, the Answer, the Redeemer of Earth back to God.) This explains my acceptance of other religions. None of them are any more or less guilty than I was when I understood only the “religion” of my belief, before I came to a spiritual awakening of my faith.

Make no mistake. Yahweh is God, and all other gods are not. I do believe, however, that God revealed Himself to the continents of the globe in various ways, to Israel He was the Law-giver; to the Native American, the Great Spirit; to the Japanese, the Creator of the Cherry blossom and all things beautiful; to the Indian, the Spirit originating all spiritual energy and honoring all who live pleasing lives.

As it is written in Romans 1:20 (NIV):

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

People have developed various expressions of this divine nature, but all have been answered, completed, and fulfilled in the person of Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). It is in this Life that I have found vital living possible.

Friday, 2013-06-14

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I have received a lot of criticism lately, mostly from home, but as of yesterday from work as well, and the observations of my boss were consistent with what I have been hearing from family members.  The complaints involve my attempts to communicate through writing.  I’ve received similar criticism on a social media site and am beginning to wonder if writing is a communication medium I might need to stop using.  It is humbling to one who thought writing was both his therapeutic hobby (and maybe even a mission) to be told I am so carelessly hurtful in it.  I will have to pray and meditate on that and not make any emotional overreactions to it just now.

Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening devotion this morning defined for me my state of discontent before God led me to a recovery program that put the feet on my religion.  He contrasted the “sincere believer” and “those who are strangers to vital godliness.”  Then he really convicted the old me when he grouped “mere professors” with “ungodly persons.”  I was a very proud “professor” of the Gospel, pressing those around me under my expert knowledge and squashing their throats with my oppressive and exclusive viewpoints, but armed as I was with an extensive knowledge of the Bible, I’m not sure I was ever in a real, loving relationship with its Author, and I certainly was a stranger to “vital godliness” until I really took Step Three.  I found myself and many of the church-goers I have known described in this excerpt:

“Ungodly persons and mere professors never look upon religion as a joyful thing; to them it is service, duty, or necessity, but never pleasure or delight. If they attend to religion at all, it is either that they may gain thereby, or else because they dare not do otherwise.”

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

My expectation of others was that if they did it my way, we wouldn’t be having these problems. I once operated under this belief and tried to control people and situations.  …  Today I am open to the possibility that God’s world and His children have no limits.

Self-will is my major malfunction!   Compulsive eating was just a symptomatic result of the disappointment of such a need.  Expecting my whims to be the law by which others lived was nothing short of insane, and I have done a lot of damage both to myself and to those around me by behaviors that flowed from such a toxic spirit and mind.

 

 

From Proverbs 14, NIV:

17 A quick-tempered person does foolish things,

and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.

Hmm…  Introspection tells me I have not arrived but still have much progress to make where this is concerned.  I am eager for God to take away this character defect.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Ephesians 1, NIV:

17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians is a good one for me to pray for others, whether associated with my resentments or on my mind to bless.  It sounds a lot like “knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out,” from Step Eleven.  Even more, it is something I want for myself, and asking for it for anyone else is appropriate.

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Freedom from Bondage”:

If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Opening Hearts and Sharing Love, Starting at Home

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I found purpose in my yesterday by being helpful where I have not been in too long: the home of my parents.  1 Timothy 5:4 says in part, “these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”  It pleases God when I help my own family, and it did me good to get out and be about somebody else.  Since I have started school and stopped driving my friend to his rehabilitation gym, I have started to feel more self-centered.  Spending myself on behalf of others is good for my soul.  (Isaiah 58:10)

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“When working this Step we do more than just recite events from the past which we consider to be our wrongs…. We need to look at what those actions cost us.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 49

In working Steps Four and Five, I learned that fear is the dread of past pains becoming real again.  When I awoke to the reality that my habit of medicating pain had led to my physical, emotional and spiritual deterioration, I had to admit that the same habits aimed at numbing fear were doing the same damage.  In order to make the decision I made in Step Three actually count for something, I had to let go of both the pain of the past and the fear of the future.  Together, they were the clasp and bolt that held me hostage.  Springing them would take complete faith in God, who is rich enough to pay my ransom, strong enough to carry me through anything, and loving enough to do it!

 

 

From Proverbs 30, NIV:

11 “There are those who curse their fathers

and do not bless their mothers

This verse groups such people with the unclean self-righteous (v.12), the haughty (v.13), and those who abuse (or devour) others with their words (or jaws and teeth) (v.14).  That sounds like pretty rotten company, but at one point or another I have belonged to all of these categories (unless you take verse 14 literally to mean cannibals).  The common thread among these four is a false elevation of self, a perspective that the great and powerful “I” is bothered by the mere humans around me.  Honestly, looking back, I don’t know that some of the damage I have done by my words wasn’t worse than if I had taken a literal bite out of someone, and some of the things I have said to my parents, or not said or done for them, over the years have certainly marred my soul just as much.  One of the greatest rewards of recovery is that I am freed from such a monstrous attitude, and I am linked with the fellow humans around me to give generously and accept freely the life and love that gets shared among us.  Of the humans on Earth, my parents are the ones who have tolerated me the longest, and who have provided the most for me without appreciation.  They have taken the most abuse and loved me most unconditionally.  It is a blessing to finally bless them!

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Corinthians 6, NIV:

11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

God is apparently trying to drive something home here, because even in this text, Paul (by God’s Spirit) speaks as a neglected parent.  What does it mean to open wide our heart?  I think it makes reference to the fact that embittered hearts are clamped shut regarding ones we perceive have disappointed us.  Certainly we came into this world believing that our parents were infallible, and that all things came from them, as for a while they likely did.  Relationships that start out with such high expectations, the child assuming the parent is godlike and the parent with their fairytale hopes for the child, are undoubtedly headed for disappointment along the way.  Paul expected some support for his ministry and wasn’t getting it.  The Corinthians were apparently upset by one of his previous letters, maybe even the one we know as 1 Corinthians, and were apparently withholding their physical and emotional support.  I know there have been times when I pull that same passive-aggressive routine on people who have wronged me, especially my parents.  Who is the perfect parent except for the Heavenly Father?  Why should I be unforgiving and even spiteful to a pair of people who are just as in need of a Savior as I am?  Am I perfect, that I should expect someone else to be?  Certainly not!  Perhaps my clamped shut heart needs to tenderly reopen to that relationship that was once cherished so dearly.  Maybe I could even open it wide, clearing away all reservation, all fear, all unrealistic expectation, so that I can be blessed by blessing those precious lives who, multiplied together, gave me mine.

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 74:

The rule is we must be hard on our self, but always considerate of others.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Thursday, 2013-04-11

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

Yesterday went well. I had no problems or fallout from supervising my peers, and accepted that many ways are acceptable even though they are not MY WAY. Being the peer-supervisor in recovery was less stressful than I ever remember it being before!

I have received some bad financial news lately, and it has me considering options, including that of asking for financial contributions from my adult children who have returned to what was once an empty nest. I am looking for ways to cut expenses and increase income to make up for some changes I cannot control. All this economic crunching has left me with one prevailing thought: anyone is wealthy who is content!

 

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“They want to learn all they can, and they never know whom their Higher Power might choose to teach them.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 203

The bit of wisdom I most need often comes from the one in the room I find most objectionable. I have to discipline myself to remain in community with such annoying rascals as me, so that those recovering self-will addicts can help me hear the sound of my disease and the remedy, and choose life.

 

 

 

From Proverbs 11:

24 One person gives freely, yet gains even more;

another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

This goes along with my thoughts on contentment. When I worry that I won’t have enough, I tend to hold close to me what I do have, failing to share it with those around me. My fear overgrows my generosity and chokes it out. I need to remember that the One who owns the heavens and the earth will always supply my need, and He will resource my charity without fail, blessing me for it spiritually, physically and mentally.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Acts 19:

1 While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus. There he found some disciples 2 and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?”

They answered, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.”

Here is an example of the spiritually dead religious, one of whom I have been for much of my life. These had washed themselves of the sins of the law, turning to obedience and trying once again to follow the rules, but they had not received the God-breathed power of life into them that comes with a touch, or a prayer and a sweeping out of the foulness that once ruled inside us. If I, by my own power, attempt to justify myself by claiming never to have murdered, of keeping my hands to myself regarding other people’s possessions and wives, etcetera, I may deceive some people into thinking I can check off the big ten, but inside I will know that I have not lived up to the spirit of their intent for me. I’ve missed the mark. I’ve fallen short. Jesus came to point out the spirit of the Law was in loving God and loving one another. He said it wasn’t good enough not to murder your neighbor or sleep with his wife; we’ve failed if we have harbored ill will against our neighbor or even looked at his wife in lust. He introduced us to spirit, so He could empower us with His.

Dear Father, today, make me alive with Your Spirit, and keep me abiding in You.

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 95:

Never talk down to an alcoholic^‡ from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.

 

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’”