Tuesday, 2013-05-21

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

In the past 48 hours, I’ve been called insensitive, unsupportive, uncaring, and my least favorite character defect: sarcastic.  Since my words have obviously been misinterpreted, I am going to let the Word speak for itself today.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“As we responded with action to the love we had been shown in OA, the result was a new faith in ourselves, in others, and in the power of that love.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 17

 

 

From Proverbs 21, NIV:

23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues

keep themselves from calamity.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Corinthians 15, NIV:

21 For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 22 For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 23 But each in turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him.

44b  If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45 So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”[Gen. 2:7]; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 46 The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47 The first man was of the dust of the earth; the second man is of heaven. 48 As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven.

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 76:

I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Monday, 2013-05-20

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I feel delinquent.  I spent all night tossing and turning because of a negative interaction I had with a family member just before I went to bed yesterday.  I got up early and hurried off to school, got some devastating news about my termite-eaten floors, then spent the rest of the day working on homework.  It’s almost 11pm and I am just beginning my devotional reading and writing.  Alienated from #2 on my Step Eight list, forced to take up the whole remainder of my beautiful wood floor and start over, confounded by algebra, and derelict in my devotions, this is a good time to admit I am powerless over life and need a Savior!  God will provide the resources and ability to handle whatever comes.  I am not worried!

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

I feel sad when I think back to my days before OA—days filled with unstoppable eating, self-loathing, and anger.

My little family problem came not because I messed up, but because I have a history of messing up so badly that the other person automatically assumed I was angry when they read the email I sent.  Apparently my history of anger echoes in the ears of those I have harmed with it.  As we cleared the air tonight, I was reminded that it is completely natural to expect harm from me considering the pattern of the past.  I had to ask for grace to start over, whether forgiveness for past wrongs comes or not.  It hurts me to know how badly I have hurt those I love.  This quote is well timed.

 

 

From Proverbs 20, NIV:

3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,

but every fool is quick to quarrel.

How foolish I have been!  And how I hope to avoid the strife that dishonors my life and my testimony!

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Corinthians 14, NIV:

12 So it is with you. Since you are eager for gifts of the Spirit, try to excel in those that build up the church.

20 Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.

Children want their things in their timing their way.  “Mine!” a toddler learns to say far too quickly.  The problem with most of us is that we don’t naturally grow out of that mentality completely.  It takes a spiritual influence to let go of the “Gimme gimme!” attitude.  For me, it took the Twelve Steps, and I am still working on sweeping away the debris of that juvenile demeanor.  Paul’s instruction here was to make building up others the incentive behind even our hunger for manifestations of the Holy Spirit.

Dear God, help me be a grown-up!

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Stars Don’t Fall”:

She, more than the others, showed me what ailed me basically, why I was immature and insecure. But I was not able to make use of this knowledge until after I became sober. A.A. had to stop my drinking first. Then I was able to do something about me.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’”

 

Find Them, Love Them, Save Them

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I had one of those vivid dreams last night, the kind that I remember was very important but the details of which have vanished.  These three phrases remained as the fog lifted:  “Find them.  Love them.  Save them.”  There were two sub-points, one to each of the first: In order to find them I must search them out; and in order to love them I must serve them.  Saving them was almost a back-burner result more than the primary mission, as if it is pointless to attempt the third if I haven’t done the first two.  I was convicted and encouraged at the same time.   In Sunday School class this morning, the point was made that, no matter how proficient a gardener one becomes, they are powerless to make anything grow.  That is still up to God.  What we can do is cultivate soil, plant seed, weed the garden, fend off birds, irrigate if necessary, and patiently wait on God for the results.  I think the points of the dream go hand in hand with this thought.  Who am I to save someone’s soul?  I can’t even save myself!  But I can find the dead and dying souls and love them, ministering to them as a brother and co-heir of Heaven, and as I treat them so, with the intervention of God, they may become!

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Indecision is like the stepchild; if he doesn’t wash his hands, he is called ‘dirty,’ if he does, he is wasting the water.” — Madagascan proverb as quoted in For Today, p. 247

In my condescending, critical days, I was the stepfather in this proverb, passing judgment on everyone who went against my way.  The problem was my way was unpredictable, changing like the wind, first this way then that.  Unlike the Madagascan version of the villain, I did not give preferential favor to my natural children.  They were, instead, the secondary victims of my wrath, only narrowly preceded by my wife.  The only thing worse than being addicted to self-will is to have no defined will at all and yet still hungrily clamber for it as though it were air, water, or some life-sustaining element.

Dear Father, today, rescue me from the bondage of self that I may better do Your will.  Keep me from inflicting my will on others.

 

 

From Proverbs 19, NIV:

17 Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord,

and he will reward them for what they have done.

I was reading World Vision Magazine the last couple days, and this morning I read an excerpt from Richard Stearns’ new book Unfinished that I feel bears sharing:

From “Unfinished Business” World Vision Magazine, April 2013

“The meaning, purpose, and significance of our lives are found only by aligning our lives with God’s purposes, in lives committed to following Jesus Christ.”

“Our Christian faith is not just a way to find forgiveness for sin in order to enter eternal life, yet it is that. It is not just a system of right beliefs about ultimate truth and the order of things, though it is that. Nor is it just a way to find God’s comfort in times of trouble or a helpful code of conduct for how to live a good and productive life, though it is those things too. Fundamentally, the Christian faith is a call to leave everything else behind, to follow our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and to join in the great mission of Christ in our world. It is a call to forsake all else and follow him. Only then will we become completed people—people living according to God’s deepest purpose for our lives.”

The rewards of working toward God’s purposes far outweigh any sacrifices I might make.  I need to be about my Father’s business with more than just my spare time and my leftover resources!

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Corinthians 13, NIV:

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

And here is the middle part of my dream!  The only benefit to doing the good deeds for the sake of the good deeds themselves is only in the pride of the moment.  If the angry and hateful heart lies behind the outstretched arms, all that remains is empty hands.  Finding the lost and hurting does no good if I don’t love them once I get there, and loving them from my couch does the hungry and helpless precious little good either.  So going must be part of the action, serving them in love is apex point of the mission, and saving souls will result when those who have been loved decide the source of that love is worth finding for themselves.

Papa God, help me to find them, love them, and save them!

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 82:

The alcoholic‡ is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept he home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’”

 

Saturday, 2013-05-18

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I had a busy day.  My service was needed at a special event today, so I missed my regular Saturday meeting and was pushed around the rest of the day by needs of the household and the return of the serviceman who is repairing my walls.  He’ll be back again before it’s over, but I like this guy.  He seems trustworthy and competent – good traits for a handyman.  I got many chores done while I was (not too closely) supervising my visitor’s work, even though I did not get to my devotional reading and writing until later.

Yesterday was a busy day too.  I had counted on writing during some breaks at work, but there were none!  I was slammed all day.  Maybe there is a day of rest in my future.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Believe that you can be abstinent. You will be. Believe that you can have sanity, peace of mind, and freedom to live the life you want. You will have them. Believe that you will recover. You will.” — For Today, p. 354

I don’t know if believing alone is a guarantee of success, but I do know that disbelief is guaranteed to cause failure.  The disappointments I have experienced could make it easy for me to refuse to believe, trust or hope, but I cannot receive what I do not accept, so opening myself up to belief is a lot like willingness to let go of the resentments that hold my faith hostage.  I don’t remember ever climbing to the top of an obstacle eagerly anticipating the leap of faith that was waiting for me at the top.  Quite the contrary has happened to me.  Each big obstacle has been preceded with a smaller one that readied me for the tougher one, so that I was always conditioned, always prepared to stretch just a little bit farther than last time.  Doubt creeps in when I overestimate the obstacles or underestimate my Higher Power.  If I’m spiritually fit, I will be content with whatever He designs, and that means walking toward him whether the next step finds me flying, falling, or standing on level ground.  I’m ready for whatever comes!

Heavenly Father, I believe that You are doing a good work in me, and that You will not abandon the job half-done.  I believe that there are no mistakes, and that You are managing everything around me with Your protective eye, and that even if harm should befall me, You will find a way to use it to my advantage.  You always do the perfect good for me when I submit to Your will.  Rescue me from my tendency to exercise my own selfish will, which I now offer to You for proper disposal and containment.

 

 

 

From Proverbs 18, NIV:

2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding

but delight in airing their own opinions.

This verse troubles me every time I read it, because it makes me do some self-evaluation.  It’s like a red flag once a month reminding me that the purpose of my writing is not to air out my opinions, but to look deeper for God’s and to share what I find.  This I know: my way has never worked well for me, and I certainly wouldn’t wish my will on someone else.  My motive here is to be held accountable to diligently seek, consider, apply and share the will of God as I find it for my life.

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Corinthians 12, NIV:

11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

This excerpt is preceded by a listing of several miraculous spiritual ministry gifts.  Scripture says here that they are apportioned as the Spirit of Christ determines.  There is a section break, but the thought is continued in the next verse, comparing gifts and ministries to parts of a body and the special purpose for each one.  You and I have different stations, different localities, different lives.  Why would we expect the same manifestations of the Spirit?  God will deploy His resources to whom He will, and will enable each member to perform its unique task in its time.  It is not for me to prescribe my spiritual wish-list and make demands, but it is my responsibility to educate myself about the Spirit who gives these gifts, and to be ready to receive them as He determines, eagerly desiring the greater gifts, according to verse 31a.  Paul introduces “the Love Chapter” (1 Corinthians 13) by calling it “the most excellent way” (verse 31b).

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62:

He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Friday, 2013-05-17

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.

I added a weekday workout to my action plan today, and had the day all planned out, but the day did not go the way I planned.  I did not get to do my reading or my normal writing, but wanted to report in.

God bless!