Pursuing Blessing while Avoiding Separation from God

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

It’s my prep-day!  There is a lot to do before I begin my work-week tomorrow: all the chores I put off until my last day off.  It’s crazy I do this every week!  I did get a lot done, but there is always more to do.

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Here we experience the great truth that when we let go of our need to control people and simply allow our Higher Power to serve others through us, we receive an abundance of joy and strength.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 106

There are blessings given to those who put others ahead of themselves.  So is it selfish to put others ahead of ourselves if we know we will be blessed for it?  Certainly not!  I regularly celebrate the promise of Isaiah 58:10, “if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”  I do this to refocus my daily effort on spending myself in just this sort of way, and I do it by remembering the payoff.  If my spirit stands as a lamp before the God of Heaven _{(Proverbs 20:27)}, then I want my lamp to receive His attention.  If my love for Him is displayed before His throne as a light, then it should glow as brightly as I can make it shine.  Who wants a lukewarm relationship with anybody?  I want the one between God and me to be burning hot, and I am willing to make my life a living sacrifice _{(Romans 12:1-2)} to ensure that it is.  “An abundance of joy and strength” is only the beginning of the promises of humility, righteousness, and loving service _{(Matthew 5:3-12)}.

 

From Proverbs 14, NIV:

²¹ It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor,
but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy.

The word “sin” means separation from God; it is a measurement outside the perfect spot.  My understanding is it came from an archery term that meant “missed the mark.”  Whether I aim for more accuracy at pleasing God to avoid that separation or to inherit the promised blessing of the alternate behavior, either way I am getting closer to the mark.  Here the mark is loving-kindness.  I am eager to perfect my aim in this regard in whatever ways I can.

Lord, grant me the attention to recognize opportunity to serve, resource to meet the need, and the willingness to do what I can.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Peter 2, NIV:

⁹ But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

¹¹ Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.

²⁴ “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

Peter’s epistles are among my favorite Scriptural writings.  Here, a Jewish fisherman, empowered by the Holy Spirit, makes the complex simple.  Verse 9 gives me a sense of personal esteem.  In fact, I regularly celebrate this valuing statement and recommend it for any of God’s children.  The value it gives motivates my obedience to the next, a call to abstinence – not just from the substances and addictive behaviors that waged against my body and soul, but against every sinful desire, because all of them battle against my wholeness.  I have included the third reference to demonstrate that we can follow the example Jesus Christ set in denying Himself.  In so doing, He has paid our way to supernatural vitality here and for eternity.  It takes faith to say, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” _{(Galatians 2:20)}

My hope is that everyone who reads this will celebrate their own acceptance of this covenant relationship, renew their commitment to it, or turn to God, the Highest of all Powers, and receive it in the name of Jesus Christ.

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85:

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.

 

_Footnotes:

_{*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.}

_{† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.}

Growing in Understanding and Effectiveness

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

It was a great blessing to be among my fellows at my home group meeting this morning, even if I had only gone to bed six hours prior.  In a reading from the newly printed 2nd Edition of Abstinence, we read from a story called “Moving Ahead” in which hatred, resentment, and judgment were referred to as “emotional terrors.”  This struck me, not just because the entire Discovery Channel viewing audience is preoccupied with the prowling terrors of the ocean during Shark Week, but because I have been repeatedly convicted lately about these attitudes which come from a remaining defect in my character.  It was also pointed out that a defect in character is not a defect in me or my design, but merely in my character which is changeable.  I used to have good cause to doubt that change was possible, but every glance in the mirror proves that God can do a good thing if I get enough of my selfishness out of the way.  I am sure He will work on what matters most, now that I have seen what He can do with my flesh.

I had an amazing thing happen last night that was an evidence that recovery is about more than physical appearance.  In years past, when I was given a temporary supervisory role at work, responses from the peers I would supervise varied from rolled eyes to a mad clambering for sick leave.  I just completed a whole work week of supervising a shift with whom I do not normally work, made up of people who did not know me before recovery.  As I left for the week, they thanked me profusely and said that if they ever need a peer-supervisor again they will specifically request me.  I’m not sure I can put into words what a dramatic change that represents!  It was one of those moments in which I was both honored and humbled at the same time, convinced that God is doing in me what I could never have done myself.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We now say yes to this power, deciding from here on to follow spiritual guidance in making every decision.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 19

Practicing the principles of recovery, such as acceptance, submission, and trust in my Higher Power, in all my affairs keeps me progressing along a desirable path.  Ironically, the “no” I said to self becomes less of a loss the more I do it, and my “yes” to God prepares me to receive a much greater blessing than I ever would have imagined for myself.  Rarely is there ambiguity when I am sincerely seeking God’s will.  On those rare occasions when I have to ask for Him to make a right decision obvious, and wait for Him to answer, He never disappoints.

From Proverbs 10, NIV:

¹⁷ Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

In my daily commitment to help all I can and harm none I don’t have to, I am reminded that I can unwittingly help or harm merely by the example I set in the life I live.  I hope to live with such integrity that no matter where or with whom I am, those who see me will see the me that God wants me to be, and not just some façade I put on for different audiences.  I have learned that I cannot preach people to my way of thinking nearly as effectively as I can love people to my way of living.  To do anything less is to cause the harm I prayed against as my day dawned.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in James 3, NIV:

¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

Here’s a passage to remind me I haven’t yet arrived at the integrity for which I hope and toward which I am working.  My fresh spring can get pretty salty sometimes, and there is precious little taming it especially once it gets going!  Verse 8 mentions that “no man can tame the tongue,” leaving me to believe that it is only God who can do the job.  I am looking forward to God reining in mine!

¹⁷ But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸ Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

I couldn’t pass this passage up.  It contrasts the wisdom of God with the so-called wisdom of earth, which was described in verse 15 as “earthly, unspiritual, demonic,” giving us a clear choice when it comes to developing our own discernment between the two.  The passage also describes the latter me, the one that will become, sort of like a preview of what will come.  It finishes off with a promise to keep me choosing peace, submission, consideration, mercy, goodness, impartiality and sincerity: a harvest of righteousness.  That’s a carrot worth pursuing.  What disciple doesn’t want to be like his Master some day?  I know I certainly do!

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous page 84:

We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Thursday, 2013-07-11

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“If we are to reach an informed decision, the group will need to take into account everybody’s needs and ideas. For this reason, OA groups give all viewpoints a full hearing—even minority viewpoints.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 120

What a great concept this is to practice in my personal affairs!  When I began to do this, “You may be right,” and accompany it with the encouragement I learned in the meetings, “Thanks for sharing, Bob!” I found that people were a lot more willing to share with me.  An added benefit was those who are heard are more likely to listen, but that is a self-serving motive.  (Still, it’s true.)

 

 

 

From Proverbs 11, NIV:

³⁰ The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
and the one who is wise saves lives.

Yesterday I read that the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.  Today the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life.  There is no denying that the product of proper alignment with God is abundant life.  I want both things: to be aligned in relationship with God and to be a tree and fountain of life, springing up so others can share the life I am experiencing and will enjoy for eternity.  To share eternal life is even better than to share the temporal kind, no matter how abundant it may be.

Lord, continue refining me into Your reflector so that, by my life, people may see the Light of Life.

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 Timothy 6, NIV:

¹⁰ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

¹¹ But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

The object of our pursuit will determine whether we are blessed or pierced.  It is interesting to me to see the wording of the accusation of the greedy.  It is they who have pierced themselves with grief.  It reminds me of Proverbs 19:3, “A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord.”  Whose fault is it when I pray for a healthy body but continue to indulge all my food fantasies and lounge about rather than do what I know is necessary to build and maintain a healthy body?  Mine!

That reminds me of another point to this excerpt: the man of God is instructed to move!  He is to move away from the corrupt desires and actively chase after those Godly traits listed, one of which is righteousness, the one with the bad rap because of its faulty cousin, “self-righteousness.”  At no point is Timothy instructed to sit back, relax, and let righteousness overtake him, although we all know that righteousness comes from God and not by the works of man.  It still must be pursued, just as Wisdom, though given by God, must be sought diligently as for treasure.

I have been guilty of spiritual sloth in years gone by, and I still have a tendency to drift into a dangerous slumber that gives Satan a foothold.

God, keep me spiritually awake and fully alive, by the power of Your Spirit and in the name of Jesus Christ.

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Stars Don’t Fall”:

Every day, I feel a little bit more useful, more happy and more free. Life, including some ups and downs, is a lot of fun. I am a part of A.A. which is a way of life. If I had not become an active alcoholic and joined A.A., I might never have found my own identity or become a part of anything.

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’”

Disregarding Indulgences and Grasping My Undeserved Righteousness

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

I have a project to complete and I keep procrastinating.  I have felt cold, weak and tired the last few days and, although I have gotten a lot of sleep (maybe too much) I have not been able to shake it.  I have kept up with gym routines, but yesterday came straight home from one and crashed in bed for three hours.  I am not certain whether the tiredness is causing the procrastination or the procrastination is causing the tiredness.  I have decided to disregard the feelings and get on with what needs getting on.

Today I told my quadriplegic friend I would not be able to take him to the gym this semester due to scheduling conflicts with my one college class.  I felt like I was betraying him, but we have been preparing him for this for almost three years, and I delayed enrolling a whole year until he was ready to go on his own.  I have found helping him to be one of the greatest ministries of my life, but I have to move forward on my path, and let him move on with his own progress.  He’s ready.  I have decided to disregard my feelings on this matter too, and get on with what needs getting on!  I’m seeing a pattern here.  It’s permeating “all my affairs.”

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“…God loves us in our totality and is willing and able to help us in everything we do… God will help us with every decision, even food choices and amounts.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 15

I thought I had to be god of my own self-discipline in order to even let God be in charge of everything else. What I discovered is, while I was failing at self-discipline, I was also grasping onto the idea of being in charge of everything else. The miserable quote, “God helps those who helps themselves,” does not come from Scripture! I am convinced it must come from some handbook of cynicism. We compulsive overeaters (or alcoholics) are undisciplined, so we let God discipline us. It’s His ballgame, His universe. I have my responsibilities, but I am not the producer or director of this show. Yes, God will even help me choose my food. In fact, if I just consider for a moment what the manufacturer of the human body might prescribe as a plan of eating, I might find that I already have a pretty good clue. I know some of the things that would NOT be on His list, and from those I will abstain.

 

 

 

From Proverbs 23:

19 Listen, my son, and be wise,

and set your heart on the right path:

20 Do not join those who drink too much wine

or gorge themselves on meat,

21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor,

and drowsiness clothes them in rags.

The way of self-indulgence is not the way of Wisdom! It is clear and obvious to everyone except the self-indulgent. I find it interesting that the part of me I am to set on the right path is not the feet. Those tend to go where the heart wanders. It is the heart. I will set my heart on the right path, so that I do not feel regret or disappointment when those around me binge. I will pity them as those who remain sick, and lovingly support them even in their suffering.

 

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Romans 4:

20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” 23 The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, 24 but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

Guess what that means! I am credited with righteousness! That word makes people (including me sometimes) uneasy because it is usually associated with “self” in front of it, or it is on the lips of religion-mockers, who use it as a term to sully the reputation of a whole organization. The fact is, “there is no one righteous; not even one,” (Psalm 14:1-3, 53:1-3, 143:2; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Romans 3:10) so for me to be given credit as being righteous through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a really big deal! That unmerited credit is the Gospel of grace in a nutshell. When we believe and align ourselves with the winner we win. Abraham believed God could make a dried up old man a father of nations and began looking for the promise to be fulfilled and it was so. Likewise, I believed that God could love a warped man like me, and began living as though that was true, and amazing things began to happen, including this: my undeserved credit as righteous.

Thank You, Father, for Your amazing love and interest in me, a broken clay pot. Thank You for redemption, restoration, rebirth, constant renewal, and union with You; and for the promise of that union becoming face-to-face on the day You have determined. I know it is true better than I know my own birthday.

 

 

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63:

As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

Standing Against the One Warring Against Me

Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

In an amazing incidence of coordination, the Holy Spirit gave me the same message in two different settings today. It was that the devil is lying to me on a constant basis, by several different voices, sometimes even my own. I need to recognize that he is a bully, and bullies seek to steal the value of their victims. I need to intentionally put myself in a position to hear affirming truths, then receive them, and repeat. God is truth and the devil is a liar! God’s love will improve my life, while the bully’s lies will rob me of joy, power, and life. My pastor read this quote this morning:

“The story of your life is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows what it could be.” (Waking the Dead, John Eldredge)

Praying, reading, listening to others, going to meetings, sharing affirmations with others, I find myself affirmed and encouraged. Left to my own, I am easy prey. We stand better against the attacker when we stay in positive, loving groups.

 

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Sometimes we fail to be all that we could be, and sometimes we aren’t there to give you all you need from us. Accept our imperfections, too. Love and help us in return. That is what we are in OA—imperfect but progressing. Let us rejoice together in our recovery…” — Overeaters Anonymous Second Edition, p. 6

I am surprised at the use of the word “fail” in this passage, and the contributor’s notes about failure to be available as though s/he had caused harm by not being omnipresent and omniscient. First and foremost, recovery requires that we acknowledge we are not God. I promise my sponsorees that I will never answer the phone if I cannot talk. That way they never have to guess if this might be a good time to call or not, or whether they will be a bother to me. The very thought that they might disrupt me dissuades them from calling, and none of us needs that excuse. When they need someone who is always there and can always help, I encourage them to “Go to the throne instead of the phone!” Prayer is the only method by which we can always reach the One who can help. Any failure of mine regarding your expectations that I will be all-knowing and all-seeing is no failure but yours. I need to make no amends for not being God. I’m still making amends for pretending I was in the first place!

There are no perfect people; only a perfect Savior! That’s why He gets to be the Higher Power.

 

 

 

From Proverbs 21:

3 To do what is right and just

is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

I have mistakenly thought that maybe when I become enough or get enough or somehow am good enough, then I will offer a sacrifice to the Lord. There have been times when I have considered myself inadequate, but God is teaching me that what He wants from me is my best right now. I could never repay God for what He has given me and the love He has shown me, so how can I muster enough resources to try? What arrogance to wait! He wants no barbeque bull, no snowy white lamb; He wants me and my next right thing done in search of His will.

I was thinking about that a lot today and yesterday: we need to be praying for God’s will to be done on Earth as it is in Heaven, because His will is not always done on Earth as it is in Heaven. The events of this past week stand as evidence of that fact. His purposes will prevail, but His people ought to be praying. What is wrong with this world is the rampant running riot of the nearly seven billion individuals living according to their own wills rather than God’s.

Dear Father, today, help me to seek and to find Your will for me, and to have the power to carry it out.  May Your will, not mine, be done!

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Romans 2:

1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

The Twelve Step Program of recovery is built to alleviate the spiritual sickness that comes from harboring just this kind of resentments, both against others and the ones that cause shame in ourselves. The true nature of forgiveness is that once received it must be shared in order to be preserved.

“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15)

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 64 and 65:

Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principle with who we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were “burned up.”

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.