I had kind of a flurry of news this morning (Thursday morning – I’m posting this late, after midnight) that got me all wound up and excited about something I had never considered possible before. Then, after seeking God’s wisdom about it, I got the final answer, which was a big “no.” It’s funny how fast the mind can race ahead if given a little slack in the reins, and how quickly it gets out of control if given its head. I was about to make a critical long-lasting decision based on little information and in short notice, which is almost always a bad idea. Pausing and seeking God in the middle of it saved me from error, an error that could have caused me (or my estate) hardship for the next thirty-eight years had I flown off the handle.
I know that God’s providence is better than anything I could plan for myself, and I know that everything I have or may lose is garbage next to the grace of knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior and Higher Power. That should completely assuage any disappointment I might feel on Earth. Right? Then why does this one still sting a little? Maybe because I live in a human body.
I had resolved to become grateful rather than pitiful, and it might have worked too, but I went to work and was hammered with a one – two punch of bad news when I got there. These three blows of disappointment left me numb all day, but I did what I was called to do and I know of no one I harmed, and I even helped a couple people along the way.
Some days, that’s as good as it gets: abstinent and refraining from harm.
Dear Father, I’m grateful for the good I have. Please forgive my selfish expectations and disappointments.