surgery toolsI am a dark shade of blue emotionally, and I have a pretty good theory as to why.  I fell asleep journaling about it last night and I know it has something to do with a “catch-22” of relationship.  I am confrontational by nature, and my precious bride avoids confrontation by hers.  This makes for a lonely me, by my own fault.  When I make attempts at mending what is broken between the two, it usually comes off sounding like the echo of past hurts and only makes matters worse.  I have got to learn some way of approaching an ailing relationship surgically, clinically, separating the object of the surgery, the relationship, from the pain sensors of the two individuals involved.  For that to happen, I will have to scrub up vigorously, and not go into the surgical theater covered in the muck and mire of a mood like the one I’m in now.  I only contaminate what is already sick when I do that.  Then, I will have to somehow anesthetize the two primary nerve centers from becoming aroused during the procedure.  The only way I know how to do that is to enter into a prayerful, respectful covenant, where both parties feel safe as part of the presiding team rather than the victim of a brutal attack.   This also I failed to do.  Then, too, I need to use pristine, precision tools during such interventions.  The hacking blade of course language and battle axe of fierce control-mongering have no place in this sterile environment.  Any cutting that needs to be done must be to the cancerous tumors of character defect and not to the precious flesh of my partner, or me for that matter.  If we each leave this experience unharmed rather than bleeding and screaming, we are both more likely to trust the other with a follow-up appointment, and our future is much more likely to be free of the painful inflammation that drives us to our corners, and of the septic poison of bitterness that corrupts the soul of each of us.

Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

(This post was approved by Precious Bride before publishing.)
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