I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
Today I finish my slow walk through the Bible. It took about three years at this pace, but I am glad I got to share it on this medium. I’m planning a change of routine and format for a while, since this accidentally evolved into a devotional blog, and my devotions get postponed when I cannot do them this way. I think it is more important that I do them than it is for me to share them, and while I am as swamped as I am with school and work, I’m going to downshift the blogging just a gear or two. I’ll still be here, just not in such an extensive or consistent way. As I get to know others I see that I am a little long-winded anyway. I could use some toning down. I think it is consistent with Scripture for me to share when I have something to share and remain silent when I don’t. Until I say otherwise, consider me abstinent one more day at a time, by the grace of God. This is day 1,245.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
Each of my character defects is replaced by its opposite, and I am equipped with a new set of survival skills—stronger, braver, and more adventurous than the old ones. God will never leave me empty. By His grace, I shall always survive.
Every character defect of mine had some purpose, but the purpose was serving my selfish desires, resentments, and fears. I feared I would be rejected, so I rejected others first. I feared failure, so I was reluctant to try anything. I despaired, so I sat in the darkness and ate till my brain chemicals lied to me and told me I was happy. I wanted control of my universe, but it was too non-compliant when I included anyone but me, so I sat alone and barked at anyone who came too close. I had become a villainous opposite of what I was intended to be. Now that I am flipping all my switches back to union with God and His design, I find the lights are on, I am up and ready to get hurt if that’s what it takes, and willing to extend myself to anyone. This is fun! “Adventurous” was a good word, and I was drawn to it when I read our VOR entry today.
From my reading through the Bible, the last book, Revelation 22, NIV:
12 “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
He’s it, from A to Z, East to West, eternity to eternity, Jesus Christ is Lord! He is the fulfilment of the Abrahamic and Mosaic covenants and the promise of the ages. His majesty is declared in nature, it was revealed in His Word, it has been celebrated by history, and it is certain forevermore. Every part of the story of Man has pointed to God’s perfection in Jesus. Even the strangers of Yaweh, the “I am” of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, who pointed to “the great unknown spirit” knew there was someone to fulfil their expectations. His reward is waiting with Him for those that overcome this temporary illusion of Earth. I choose to live the spirit-life, and crucify the flesh in preference for liberty in Jesus.
Thanks be to God, who has given us His Word! He is faithful. Amen!
From AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 116:
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. These were the new attitudes that finally brought many of us an inner strength and peace that could not be deeply shaken by the shortcomings of others or by any calamity not of our own making.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.