Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

Hello again for one day!  I leave for prison tomorrow (day visits; the team stays in a hotel).  God willing, I will be back Sunday night.


From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

The strength, the presence of my Higher Power, has always been there in my life, but my love affair with food was the block that prevented me from feeling this flow of power.

I have been doing some study lately on the character of the Pharisees criticized by Jesus.  His problem with them was that they knew the Law and even made up some laws of their own, but defied the spirit of the Law by studying its lines and ignoring the relationship with the One delineated by it.  I think of my life before recovery as exactly this kind of life – of knowing of God, but not letting Him in … really … or maybe fully.  I know He’s been a part of my life, so I can’t say I was without Him, but something was missing.  It was like having the blueprints without the structure.  Sometimes I think maybe it is like an immature baby is not a full adult but is still human; and so I was perhaps a “new creation” but immature and not developed yet.  It feels, however, more like I was counterfeiting an exclusive relationship with God by failing to turn loose of the one I was having with food. I can’t help but feel as though I was missing more than just maturity, I have been lying to myself and eating the forbidden fruit of selfishness.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Matthew 23:25-26, NIV)



From my reading through the Bible, currently in Revelation 14, NIV:

A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: “If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives its mark on their forehead or on their hand, 10 they, too, will drink the wine of God’s fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. They will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb.

This passage says it too requires the patient endurance of the faithful (v. 12).  An explanation may lie in the revelation to Daniel in Daniel 7:16-18:

So he told me and gave me the interpretation of these things: 17 ‘The four great beasts are four kings that will rise from the earth. 18 But the holy people of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever—yes, for ever and ever.’

I don’t know if the beast and his image are political kings or figurative idols, whether we are to avoid political entanglements or fanaticism about anything at all but the Kingdom of God.  The marks some will bear on their foreheads or hands, are they literal marks like tattoos or microchips to enable trade, or are they the tainted stains of a materialistic society, from which we are to keep ourselves pure?  Either way, followers of Jesus Messiah are called to be prepared and to be separate from the crowd headed for disaster.  It begs that we ask ourselves if we are living a life conformed to the pattern of this world, or transformed from it?

Dear Father, today, help me not conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, so I will be able to test and approve what Your will is – Your good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).



From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63:

As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.


*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.