Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I do believe I may have bitten off more than this recovering overeater can chew with two online college classes, twelve-hour shifts, and spiritual recovery exercises.   I may have to abbreviate my writing schedule or just give myself permission not to write every day.  All I can think of is the beginning days when my (then) sponsor would say, “One day at a time!” no matter how religiously I sent him my weekly email updates.

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Intuition is supposed to be God’s direct line into our minds and hearts…” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 22

I never liked this phrase, because I thought the word “intuition,” by its common use, seemed to rob God of the credit for speaking to us.  I have always thought of intuition as the hunch, or gut-feeling that comes from a person, and so credits the person with the initialization of it.  I guess that comes from being a child of the 1970’s, when the word was almost always preceded by the word “woman’s” and was normally spoken by a woman who was claiming to have some clairvoyant ability that should shame the man into believing whatever she said.  The word actually is derived from a Latin word that means to look upon or gaze at.  I know that when I still myself and seek God’s will and word for the moment, He is faithful to give it, and this “direct line” whether it is called “intuition,” “insight” or “open communication with God” is a beautiful thing!


From my reading through the Bible, currently in Revelation 4, NIV:

At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne.

I love this description of God’s heavenly throne!  The emerald rainbow encircling Him and His appearance like jewels just makes me want to see Him.  The fact that John would be given the vision in the first place is amazing, but considering how he was given the vision, as if by transportation of his spirit is amusing.  Perhaps most important of all, is that on the throne of the universe, what John did not find sitting there amidst all that glory was me!  I don’t mean to make light of this beautiful revelation, but it is important to know that there is a very real God on the throne of Heaven.  He isn’t imagination, He isn’t a nebulous mass of all goodness or loving feelings, He isn’t merely the vague opposite of evil on a spiraling dichotomy pictorial, and He isn’t me or you or either of our dad’s or mom’s or disappointing relative of choice.  He’s supreme, indescribably beautiful, with power beyond comprehension and glory that can’t be contained.  That’s exciting!  His attendants never stop praising His holiness (vs. 8, 11).  I look forward to joining them in their chorus someday.


From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous,
“Our Southern Friend”:

There are periods of darkness, but the stars are shining, no matter how black the night. There are disturbances, but I have learned that if I seek patience and open-mindedness, understanding will come. And with it, direction by the Spirit of God. The dawn comes and with it more understanding, the peace that passes understanding, and the joy of living that is not disturbed by the wildness of circumstances or people around me. Fears, resentments, pride, worldly desires, worry, and self-pity no longer possess me. Ever-increasing are the number of true friends, ever-growing is the capacity for love, ever-widening is the horizon of understanding. And above all else comes a greater thankfulness to, and a greater love for Our Father in heaven.



*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.