Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I dislike it when a busy schedule prevents me from spending the time to sit, read, meditate, and write.  Yesterday, I had classwork, gym, work, a break from work for a ministry meeting, then back to work, and no free time.  Today’s not much different, but there is at least time to write this much in my break time at work.  Somebody asked me once how I do this everyday.  I have no idea, but God provides a way most days, and when there isn’t one, I just get up and start fresh the next day.  Thank you for your patience.

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“What all of us have in common is that our bodies and minds seem to send us signals about food which are quite different from those a normal eater receives.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 2

Just within the last hour, I was showing my “before” picture to someone with whom I was talking about food addiction.  Her response was, “Whoooo!  No, food is not your friend!”  It was a reminder that, for some people, recreational foods that I have learned to view as frivolous or even evil in my case are still acceptable fare for the normal person.  I needed that, because I can get judgmental about the personal condition of a person who eats my problem foods.  It was also good confirmation for me that it is not just a matter of my having said it so many times that makes it true.  Other people can clearly see that there is an enmity between food and me, and I need to remember it or face the consequences.

I was thinking about that and the “desires of the flesh” spoken of in the Bible.  Some people get addicted to tattooing, others porn, some ingesting chemicals, others buying or doing frivolous things.  Whatever desires of the flesh plague us, we are called to put them to death so that the Spirit can rule in us and we can have abundant life.  I’m happy for that!

 

From Proverbs 28, NIV:

If anyone turns a deaf ear to my instruction,
even their prayers are detestable.

How many times did I hear the messengers of God warn of the consequences of my actions and ignore them?  Doctors, health advocates, teachers, friends, even news media, all tried to tell me that behavior has consequences, and unhealthy eating would eventually destroy me.  And I ignored them, or maybe I should even say, ‘So I ignored them.’  I was doing things my way and was merely a pretender of anything else.  I’m glad I’m free of it, or I would be too disgusted with myself to walk to freedom.  “Detestable” is right!

Thank You, God, for coming when You knew I needed You and not giving up on me though I am an unworthy sinner.  Clean me up, Lord, for I am soiled with selfishness, and I want to come into Your house.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 1 John 5, NIV:

19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

That first verse draws the battle lines and makes pretty clear the enmity I mentioned above.  I choose to be in the One who not only gives life, but Who Himself is Life eternal, the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

 

 

From “the Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Truth Freed Me”:

The manifestations of this ever present Power in my experience since 1936 are too numerous to mention. Let it suffice to say that I am profoundly grateful for the opportunities I have had of seeing and knowing “TRUTH.”

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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