I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
There is exactly one week until my Algebra final exam, but I’m not going to worry. I’m just making preparations on a daily basis until the day comes.
This is posting late, but I had a busy night with no wi-fi access.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“Catalog and re-catalog the positive enjoyment of abstinence from compulsive overeating.” — Before You Take That First Compulsive Bite, Remember…
I think the concept behind this statement is why writing is an important tool of my recovery. When I hear a statement, my ears and brain are involved. All my sensory organs work this way: eyes, nose, tongue, skin. One input device and one recognition. When I write, I get to see, hear and touch all at the same time, and my mind gets the message with three times the potency of any of those single senses. Plus, I get the benefit of having creatively processed a cognitive thought, engaging multiple parts of my brain in the activity. The end result is I learn the positive enjoyment more thoroughly. It is a simple process of training or “programming” myself with a new way of living.
From Proverbs 22, NIV:
4 Humility is the fear of the Lord;
its wages are riches and honor and life.
In order to receive wages, one must do a job; that is, perform a service. Elsewhere, I am commanded to clothe myself with humility (Colossians 3:12, 1 Peter 5:5). I can imagine myself donning a suit of humility, as if the uniform of Christian service. It is understandable that this set of clothes is not my natural skin, but covers up my nature with itself. I understand that I cannot earn my salvation, but this is clear that by giving others priority over myself I will earn this special bonus of abundance – regarding wealth, esteem, and vitality. In fact, in order to request and receive the forgiveness that God can and does give, one must first find this humility. No one charges to the throne of the Creator making demands. I think therein lies the key to the first part of this statement: “Humility is the fear of the Lord.” We reverence Him in awe, and demote ourselves from the center of attention in order to seek Him and His will.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Hebrews 2, NIV:
11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.
18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
My Higher Power is not One who has never seen despair, nor is He a stranger to hunger, shame, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, mockery, even outrage. On His Heavenly throne, He was too highly elevated to negotiate a liaison between God and man, but when He became man, He left nothing in between and brought the Heavenly to those of us on Earth. Now I am blessed to call myself a member of a Heavenly family, a spiritual eternity that has already begun, but in which I can still only partially participate while I inhabit this body of flesh.
Thank You, Lord, for rounding me up and including me in Your family. May I live in that promise always and not be distracted by the physical objects that appear briefly before my temporary eyes.
From The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Step Seven:
As we gain new humility and ever greater freedom from our character defects, God’s power flows more surely and freely through us, bringing healing to others as well as ourselves, and drawing to us all the things we once fought so hard to attain: self-esteem, a feeling of usefulness, joy, strength to surmount difficulties, fellowship, and love. Our simple prayers, humbly spoken, are answered in wonderful ways as we open our lives to God’s transforming power, and we find that God does for us what we could never do for ourselves.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.