I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
I read a wonderful passage from John Wesley’s The Holy Spirit and Power that summed up nicely my view on recovery. One of the most noteworthy parts is the reference to exactly what we are recovering.
Through His Spirit we can crucify the flesh and its affections and lusts, setting our affections on things above, not on things of the earth. This new love molds us into holiness, a recovery of His image with a renewal of soul in His likeness. Now there can be godly sincerity directing all our words and works conducive to His glory. In this we also can and do rejoice, because our consciences witness in the Holy Spirit by the light that He continually pours in upon it, that we walk worth to the vocation to which we are called. We abstain from all appearance of evil, fleeing from sin as from a serpent. As we have opportunity, we do all possible good to all men as we follow in our Lord’s footsteps and do what is acceptable in His sight.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
Instead of thoughts floating around in my head with no beginning and no end, they assume shape and size when I write them down.
I love this statement. Furthermore, I like to write in composition notebooks. That way, when I am done writing, I can close the book on the problems I have heard in my head, written with my hands, and seen with my eyes. There is a finality to it, a sense of security that whatever is on the page won’t jump back off. It sounds stupid but I like closing the book on my troubles, and I also like to archive my successes so that I can revisit epiphanies and see how each down is followed by an up. I have many volumes I can visit any time I want.
From Proverbs 14, NIV:
6 The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none,
but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.
I am fond of saying there are two things for which we can pray that God always answers, “Yes!” They are salvation and wisdom. Here there appears to be an exception to the latter, but on second glance, it is the mocker’s self-guided search for wisdom that is fruitless, not the faithful prayer of the humble. The mocker would not come to God for wisdom in the first place, being so self-assured as to earn his title of mocker. As a recovering mocker, this is important for me to heed. I will not gain the wisdom I seek as my old self; I must continue in the renewal God has begun in me, and abide in Him, so that the mocker does not raise his ugly head and cut me off from the wisdom that discerns spirit and truth.
Dear Father, keep me humble, fill me with Your Spirit, and teach me Your Wisdom. In Jesus’ name I thank You.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Timothy 2, NIV:
20 In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. 21 Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
I like this passage. It reminds me that, just because I once was a chamber-pot doesn’t mean I can’t be recreated as a wine chalice if I am faithful to cleanse myself from the ignoble. I say “cleanse myself” but really that entails me submitting to the cleansing hand of God as He recreates me according to His will, so long as I quit squirming against His effort.
Papa, I come to you crusty and gross, and ask that You make me into something shiny and useful for You. I’m ready that You should have and do with me whatever You want!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60:
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.