I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
Today I spent attending church meetings and trying to catch up on homework. I did not complete my normal devotional.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“Humility is at the heart of Step Seven… We ask Him to remove OUR shortcomings, not those of the people who have harmed us.” — A Guide to the Twelve Steps for You and Your Sponsor, p. 11
Wouldn’t it be nice if the leader of that institution you resent were given a saving knowledge of grace and a double portion of God’s divine Wisdom, just like you want for yourself? Then maybe he wouldn’t allow such-and-such to continue, and you might feel vindicated. Ever wonder why that never seems to work? “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives…” (James 4:3) We who have directed hate and discontent at everyone including ourselves in the form of anger, manipulation, and food-abuse are expert at seeking change in others. We aim to inflict our will on them as though it were a weapon to exact our judgment on all except ourselves. Our new target is self and our new vantage point is humility. The goal now is not to destroy, but to discern the negative from the positive and to rid ourselves of the former, taking in a healthy portion of the latter. This new perspective, attitude, discernment, motive, and purpose all come from our Higher Power when we lay down our weapons of hate and humbly ask for His help.
I’m beat! Good night.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.