Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

 

Goofy and MaxI usually write these posts in order, but this section is being written post-script today because I couldn’t organize my thoughts about it this morning.  I started out my day surrendered yet anticipating a difficult emotional time watching my son leave the home of his youth and start out again to build his adult life.  I have been impressed with how motivated he has become as soon as the need arose.  This morning, he was upbeat and singing as he finished packing for his move, blasting his favorite Disney soundtrack as he worked.  This actually tugged at my heart a bit, which he may have intended, as his selection was “The Goofy Movie” one with a father-son theme that has served as a communion piece for both of us over the years.  Real men do cry, and this one can admit that, while I listened to my boy grow up in the other room, the tears fell.  He will be fine.  I have said that the eaglet must be nudged from the nest to fully develop his wings, and Junior is flapping strongly and appears to be achieving lift.   I trust that his Heavenly Father will continue to do what God does for His children: love, provide and direct.  God is Coach now; I am cheerleader.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” — Step Seven

I like that the Step Seven prayer is addressed to, “my Creator,” because it reminds me that I am dealing with the person who made me and who is capable of remaking me.  It also helps me recall that I did not choose to call my Higher Power “God,” but He chose this Himself.  As part of His creation, my role is subordinate to that of the Creator.  He is greater; I am less.  He can; I can’t; I will now let Him.

God is in the creating, renewing and restoring business.  He’s always making things new and birthing miracles every day.  It is this world, its pleasures, distractions, and powers of darkness that corrupt, damage, hurt and destroy.  I’ve got a patch of dead lawn in my front yard that I had to re-sod a few weeks ago.  I thought the new sod, which I naively bought at a home improvement store had died too, because it turned yellow and shriveled in the sun.  Suddenly, this week, green shoots are coming through all the yellow.  Newness!  Springing from what appeared dead to me has come life!  It’s exciting to see, and insightful to remember that I, likewise, was spiritually dead but now I live.  Thank You, God, for renewal, restoration, redemption, reconstruction, rebirth!

 

 

From Proverbs 1, NIV:

31 they will eat the fruit of their ways
and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.
33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety
and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

Now there’s a food I bet no one remembered to put on their Abstinence Declaration!  The fruit of my ways has always proven bitter.  I would like to think that I am not among the simple, rebellious mockers referred to as “they” in this passage, but truthful introspection proves that I am, or at least have been.  With each new day, I strive to listen more closely, turning my tension into ease, and releasing the burdens I cannot carry to the tender, rescuing hand of Jesus.  Fear vanishes when I do that.  I hope I develop the discipline to keep up the close connection.

Be near me, Lord Jesus, and keep me near You!

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Thessalonians 1, NIV:

God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.

A couple of great pieces of news are here for those who may not know it or need to be reminded of it: first that Jesus is coming again in the glory this describes, and second that he will relieve us who are troubled and avenge us who are persecuted.  This is relief for those of us who believe in and are waiting for Christ’s second coming.  The reader who is deflated and discouraged at the reading of the last sentence of this passage, as though this event is too elusive to be counted on, is not walking in faith but in their senses.  It feels like a long time, but faith sees it coming and eagerly looks for it.  This sensory perception is the same nervous reaction that got most of us into trouble with substance abuse, behavioral addiction, or whatever piqued our interest in recovery blogs.  In other words, following what we feel like is what cut us off from the sunlight of the Spirit to begin with!  As for me, I will eagerly seek the Day of the Lord as my final redemption, the last one-day-at-a-time I will need to surrender.  After that, my tears will be wiped away by the Maker of my eyes, and I will dwell in His house rather than He in mine.

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “The European Drinker”:

That day I gave my will to God and asked to be directed. But I have never thought of that as something to do and then forget about. I very early came to see that there had to be a continual renewal of that simple deal with God; that I had perpetually to keep the bargain. So I began to pray; to place my problems in God’s hands.

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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