Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I was late getting this uploaded.  Sorry.  There aren’t many Wi-Fi locations where I work.

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“There will be times when we’re faced with an important decision and want to know our Higher Power’s will. Our sponsor or OA friend might suggest that we pray about it, asking God to increase our desire to take the action if we are supposed to take it, or decrease our desire if we’re not supposed to take it.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 97

Many times I have prayed that God would make a decision glaringly obvious, never secure in my own discernment.  He has always been faithful.   As many times as I’ve prayed that prayer, God has orchestrated circumstances that either prohibited one choice or made another so comically obvious that laughter accompanied my decision.  I don’t know why I have usually only waited until the big things come up to seek God’s will like that.  Perhaps as I continue to make seeking His will in the day-to-day things, I will come to trust myself to see His hand in the others, and I will become more confident in the discernment He provides.

Father, guide me on, and keep my hand in Yours.

From Proverbs 20, NIV:

Mocker of mockers3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,

but every fool is quick to quarrel.

This chapter starts out by calling wine “a mocker.”  I have been thinking about that word as it relates to the sentiment of this Proverb.  I have identified myself as a mocker of mockers, a critic of critics.  I have always related to Statler and Waldorf better than to Fozzie and Kermit, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 was plenty of entertainment for this fault-finder.  I saw that character trait as a defect in personal form yesterday, and I came away disgusted, not with the person I observed, but in myself for being the same way.  I am happy to exercise my acceptance and throw the clutch on my criticism.  God is doing a new thing, and I am glad of it.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Philippians 1, NIV:

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Paul, in his prayers for the church at Philippi, said he was confident, “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (verse 6).  This anticipation of completion and the hope  of progress toward knowledge, insight, discernment, and purity that multiplies in me a crop by which others may themselves be refreshed and fed is exactly what drives me to dig deeper into my character and scrape out a new layer of self.  I do so long for the Wisdom of God, that I would be a purer, more tuned instrument of His purpose!

Holy Father, I echo this prayer of Your servant Paul.  Perfect my love so that bitterness cannot cloud my judgment.  Wash my eyes so that I can see Your truths and stride past all that would distract me from Your purpose and perfect will.  Cultivate me so that Your Spirit may bring forth its fruits that all with whom I have contact may bear witness to Your grace rather than just my face.  In Christ Jesus’ name who redeemed me to Your sonship, Amen!

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85:

What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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