Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I woke up this morning and tried to remind myself that, although today is Father’s Day and I am a father of two, it is not MY Day.  There are lots of other people to love and celebrate on such a day, and I tried to remind myself to make it about them rather than get inflated expectations.  Still, when I sat down on that long church pew this morning with neither of my offspring near me, part of me felt a little empty.  I reminded myself that they are God’s children first, and that He is not done with them yet any more than He is done with me.

The last couple days I have had the amazing opportunity to reconnect with a long-lost cousin with whom I shared many childhood experiences.  He and his family stopped to visit on their way through town and stayed overnight.  I was ashamed at how badly I had neglected even important relationships, but was reminded that mine is a disease of selfishness and eagerly hope for something more from here on out.  Our families clicked like we had never been apart and, though we have always lived several states away, he even said we could probably finish each other’s sentences.  I didn’t mention that I had given up trying to beat everyone to their punch line.

My preacher delivered a sermon this morning that, I swear, must have been written directly at me.  It had to do with so many of the issues I’ve had come up lately and directly addressed fear of failure, especially as it relates to fathering.  He used the impetuous Apostle Peter as an example of a man who made mistakes and yet was forgiven, reinstated, and even singled out as “the rock” on which the church would be built.  The service closed with us all reading together 1 Peter 5:1-11, which is a call to humility, service, trust in God, and perseverance.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We will no longer simply do what we feel like doing or what we think we can get away with.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 24

What I feel like will kill me.  Period.  Whether in lack of movement or indulgence of a craving, the compulsions of my flesh nature will result in my demise.  Scripture says it this way: “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23).  This idea that I can follow a sensible plan of action and eating and abstain from the indulgence of my whim and fancy is revolutionary to one who has lived almost exclusively by his will, wish and way.  I am excited to be living according to what I learn of God’s will for me rather than my own.  His is much better!

 

 

From Proverbs 16, NIV:

23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent,
and their lips promote instruction.[c]

This is something for which I can pray and watch, but I am still convinced eludes me.  I got some good encouragement about this today, but it will take some podcast review before I can quote what was said.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Ephesians 3, NIV:

This is my prayer for as many as read it, and even for many I know who won’t:

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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