I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
I let self-pity run away with my keyboard yesterday as I whined about the criticism my written communication has received on all fronts lately. The truth of it is that I am in the habit of expunging my feelings and thoughts by writing. Scripture says, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” and I’m sure that translates to the pen or keyboard too. I just need to remember that, in writing to communicate my expectations, I don’t let loose that old self-will monster just to use his power to get my way. Having received God’s deliverance from that titan, I should not assume that I am its keeper, and need not unleash it on my neighbor or relative for my own personal gain.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
To get out of the hell of compulsive overeating, I must be willing to give up compulsive overeating, one day at a time.
I said yesterday that mine is a problem of self-will, and compulsive eating was merely a symptom. It is the first symptom we let go in order to find recovery. One day at a time I commit my day to God, the Supplier of my rations, and let the day I live and the self I deny be my living sacrifice, praying it will be holy and pleasing to Him (Romans 12:1-2).
From Proverbs 15, NIV:
4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.
The instruction here is not to stop using the tongue or pen or keyboard, but to use it wisely.
Lord, keep me from harming Your children today, by my action, inaction, or word. Make me a minister of Your grace and help me to love selflessly, even as You gave Your Son to die where I should have.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Ephesians 2, NIV:
I often quote Ephesians 2:10 and reference it as the answer to man’s ultimate question, “Why am I here?” It and the verses that precede it combine into a neat little nutshell of the Gospel of Christ, even providing a glimpse of the supernatural realm with its powers and authorities which should not be ignored by the royal warriors of the Kingdom of Heaven.
1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Certainly it is good to know that we are God’s masterpiece with His purpose built into a master plan. I am also inspired by the knowledge that verse 6 provides that, though we come to God on our knees, perhaps shamed and weeping, He does not leave us at His feet but lifts us up like a Father happy to hold His children. By grace, I am not under foot but in the lap of a loving Papa who gives life abundant!
I love to share a Higher Power like the One described in this excerpt, especially because this is straight from the Word of God, and is, therefore, an accurate depiction of the One who chose to call Himself “God.” I don’t need to create or define God when He defines Himself this way and introduces me, by His Spirit, to the intimate reality of Who He is. I just need to let go of the misconceptions I held that were clouded by or perhaps even birthed out of my fear and insecurity, two very real feelings that were supposed to draw me closer to Him but to which I and many like me reacted in harmful ways.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.