I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“We will no longer simply do what we feel like doing or what we think we can get away with. Instead, we will earnestly seek to learn God’s will for us, then we will act accordingly.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 24
I love the new way of thinking described in the meetings I attend: “of acting on life rather than reacting to it.” For me, the truth of this excerpt accurately sums up the basis of my recovery. Sometimes, when I realize a query is coming from someone who is not really interested, I surprise them with this answer to their question, “How did you do it?” I tell them I stopped doing what I wanted to or felt like doing and exchanged it for what I believe my Manufacturer would recommend. That includes what to eat (plan of eating) as well as what not to eat (abstinence), and how I practice this in managing the rest of my life as well.
Dear Father, today, help me earnestly seek Your will for me, and give me the will and power to carry it out.
From Proverbs 28:
7 A discerning son heeds instruction,
but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.
I have spurned instruction my whole life, much to my detriment. I have fired doctors who repeatedly advised me to lose weight. I have ignored Surgeon General’s warnings on labels, or maybe even been drawn to defy them. I have entered into habits my parents have warned me from, and indulged in the ones they permitted. I have surrounded myself with those more indulgent than I just to make myself feel superior to someone. In all so doing, I have not only disgraced my Father and Creator, but I have shamed myself into a longing pain that took many more self-harming indulgences to medicate, and even medicated was never sated. Since Step Three, I have been committed to heeding instruction, as I wrote above, to eagerly seek it out and to diligently follow. I have been accused of going too far, of being obsessed with health, of compulsively following the Twelve Steps, even of being too religious and structured, but I have never felt as connected to God, as empowered in my spirit, mind and body, and as purpose-driven and hopeful as I am today. Heeding instruction as a discerning son has more rewards than I ever imagined, and I pray that God continues to give me discernment to find and follow Him the rest of my life.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Romans 8:
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This is a beautiful chapter that outlines the promise of the Gospel of Christ in spiritual terms. Simply put, when we humans begin to celebrate and make preferential accommodations for our physical carriages to the exclusion of the spirits we actually are, we begin to live according to the death to which our physical natures are subject. As we deny the flesh its desires in preference of spiritual union with God through the One who made it possible – Jesus Christ, we begin to experience the abundant life that God was predisposed to give us but was hindered from delivering due to our rebellion. This abundant life and peace is given by the Spirit who dwells within those who welcome Him.
God, my flesh has already begun to corrupt me today, and I am sure that, because I am made of meat I am prone to rottenness; but make my spirit alive by Your Spirit, and empower me to be more than the leather bag of emotions that is supposed to propel me through this Earth, some reflection of the Heavenly Kingdom to which I belong. Cause me to represent Your grace and holiness, even if it as a dim and shadowy reflector of a perfect light. Make my love for You all important, and my love for others more important than the whims that assail me.
From “the Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85:
Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.
Post(s) of note:
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.