Abstinent Today:

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

It’s official: I’m a college student again after all these years. Registered and paid, classes start for me on May 14th. How I will keep up my web-journal and studies at the same time is beyond me at the moment, but God and I will address that at a later time. For today, I am grateful and excited.

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

God took my worry; I received His peace. Now I could understand what living one day at a time truly meant.

It’s as simple as that! Well, almost. See, for me to allow God to take my worry meant I had to release it. My hands were so full of worry that I had nothing empty to receive the peace He was waiting to hand me. I manufactured pain from my imagination and even held onto the fiction, so desperate to cling to something, but I had chosen a faulty handhold. As I emptied my hands in Step Three, and made the exchange of peace and providence for doubt and despair, hope began to shimmer in the distance, and I found new strength to move forward in the direction of progress, one footstep at a time.

 

 

 

From Proverbs 19:

3 A person’s own folly leads to their ruin,

yet their heart rages against the Lord.

This is a good description of the damaged relationship I had with God before I took Step Three in the exchange described above. When I’m drowning in blame and shame, I’m not really careful about who I sling some on, and God was no exception. There were several instances when I shook my fist at God and wondered how He could allow such things as my disappointment, but that was back when I thought I was in charge of the universe and was supposed to get my way everywhere every time.

Lord, thank You for patiently waiting for me to get a clue, and for being patient enough to endure my whining. Thank You for the grace that washes away such desperate outbursts and allows me to come to You in love and not fear.

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Acts 28:

30 For two whole years Paul stayed there in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him. 31 He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!

Paul, under guard in Rome, capitalizes the circumstances of his house-arrest as an opportunity to minister to anyone who might show up. I love this model of home-church preaching, and wish I were hospitable enough to open my home for all comers, just for the opportunity to share about Jesus. Maybe someday, I will reach that level of maturity in the faith. Until then, I am eager to capitalize whatever opportunity I am given, to share hope at whatever level God leads me to, from smiling to a passerby, to sharing recovery with a fellow addict, to helping the hungry find the Bread of Life.

 

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 133:

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that his life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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