I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“We gratefully follow in the footsteps of many others who have walked this way before us, and we’re gratified to be making footprints of our own for others to follow.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 106
Imagine if, when you got to the meeting place where you expected to find an OA meeting, there was no one there. Imagine if, when you sought someone who had what you wanted whom you could ask how he or she was achieving it, there was no one to sponsor you. I often do that, and I am grateful to God and to those who came before me that a few alcoholics got together and wrote down the steps they took to find recovery. I am grateful for the many who followed them and kept doing likewise. I am grateful for the many spouses and children who sat in cars or waited in libraries and church basements while Dad or Mom sat in smoke filled rooms patiently listening to and supporting each other. I am grateful for the gamblers who introduced those Twelve Steps to a lady named Rozanne, and for her idea that compulsive overeaters could benefit from this program just like alcoholics, gamblers, and addicts of every kind. I am grateful for the thirteen ladies who made me so welcome at my first meeting, and I am grateful for the men’s focus group who made me so at home during my first years in recovery. I am grateful for my sponsors, and their sponsors, who passed on to me the framework of my recovery. So grateful am I, that I am willing to do the same for the next ‘generation’ of recovering compulsive overeaters.
From Proverbs 14:
6 The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none,
but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.
At first glance this seems to contradict the promises that “he who seeks finds” (Matthew 7:8, Luke 11:10), but the word “mocker” gets to the heart of the character it describes, which blocks the Holy Spirit from revealing Himself. The mocker only seeks to better arm himself for the next battle of wits, to outdo those he would defeat with his condescension. I know, because, aside from being a recovering compulsive overeater, I am also recovering from chronic mockery, a cynical, insatiable habit of sarcasm that cut the souls of those around me down to size so I could stand a little taller in their company though hobbled by my own spiritual state. A couple verses later, Spirit of Wisdom records that “the folly of fools is deception” (v. 8), proving that whatever I thought I was accomplishing by my critical harshness was a lie.
Dear Father, today, take away my defects that hinder You from doing Your will in my life. Eliminate everything that blocks me from living in Your alignment, trusting in Your power, and finding Your purpose for me in everything I do.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Acts 22:
8 “‘Who are you, Lord?’ I asked.
“ ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied. 9 My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me.
There are two separate but concurrent miracles happening to Paul at this point: God is speaking, and he is hearing. The Lord speaks in a language all His own, and He utters mysteries which cannot be understood except that the Holy Spirit reveals them to us. Paul’s companions heard some thundering noise, but they could not understand the Word of God given to Paul at that moment. It was for him. He was given spiritual ears to understand. This gives meaning to the several times when Jesus prayed, “He who has ears, let him hear.” (Matthew 11:15, 13:9, 43; Mark 4:9, 4:23; Luke 8:8, 14:35; Revelation 2:7, 11, 17, 29, 3:6, 13, 22, 13:9)
It is my personal belief that this was the miracle at Pentecost too. The disciples spoke in a miraculous tongue, and each listener heard each speaker in his own native language. It is proposed by some who would dilute the miracle that each disciple was given the instantaneous ability to speak an earth language he had not previously studied. That would be miraculous, and I have heard of similar miracles occurring since, but its suggestion takes away the miracle of the Holy Spirit being poured out on everyone, and the miracle of hearing that occurred on that day, and every day since, as often as humans have turned to God and said, “Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening!”
Papa Creator, make me pliable in Your hands, so that I can become what You intend. Give me ears to hear and eyes to see Your Truth, and arms and legs willing and able to carry it. Give me Your tongue that reaches hearts and is heard by those who earnestly seek You. Let grace be my language and love my clothing, that You may be honored, in Jesus’ name. Amen! Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “A Feminine Victory”:
I felt desperate and I questioned my ability to really avail myself of the help that the others had received and applied so successfully. Gradually, however, God began to clear my channels so that real understanding began to come. Then was the time when full realization and acknowledgement came to me. It was realization and acknowledgement of the fact that I was full of self-pity and resentment, realization of the fact that I had not fully given my problems to God. I was still trying to do my own fixing.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.