I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
Today I have to take the first math test in twenty-six years. It is a placement test for returning to college. I am appropriately stressed, but would rather not be. Today’s writing may be abbreviated for the purpose of preparation for that exam. It is my last day to look over my Algebra Cliff’s Notes and Algebra for Dummies. If you can spare a moment thinking of me in prayer I would appreciate it.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
I remind myself daily to accept people exactly as they are, with all their frailties, shortcomings, and other human weaknesses. They are just like me: trying to get by in an often unfriendly world and poorly equipped to do so.
God accepted me the way I was, and He accepts me daily as I am even as He draws me and molds me closer to His ideal. Who am I to be accepted and yet live in habitual condemnation of others? It doesn’t work that way. Here is the way it is supposed to work:
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” ~Colossians 3:12-13
I am accepted to accept, forgiven to forgive, loved to love. God help me to overflow with the grace you have given me, pouring it out onto all with whom I have contact, in Jesus’ name, Amen!
From Proverbs 4:
7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
This is great! Here I am sweating a placement test, the financial cost and the time investment it will take to go back to college, and I get timely feedback from God cheering me on. Whatever it takes? Yes, Sir!
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Acts 12:
1 It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. 2 He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. 3 When he saw that this met with approval among the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also. This happened during the Festival of Unleavened Bread.
This gives whole new meaning to Jesus’ promise in John 16:33 that, “In this world you will have trouble…” even though He finished that statement off by saying, “but take heart! I have overcome the world.” Sometimes God’s purpose is served better when the answer to our prayer is “no.” The rest of this chapter describes the miraculous rescue of Peter from prison and the hands of an angel, but these verses stuck out to me as a reminder that God’s ways are not are ways. It is my responsibility to accept the life I am given, making the most of every opportunity and leaving the times and outcomes to God. If He should orchestrate my graduation to glory this very day, I readily accept that His purposes will be accomplished even if the will of man should interrupt God’s perfect will on earth as it apparently did in the life of James.
James was collected as one of the martyrs. What a blessing! If I should die at the hands of man, I hope that it is not for my wallet, or for my political affiliation, ethnicity, or complexion, but let it be because I stand for Jesus; and let me cheerily forgive my attacker, in gratitude for the graduation gift with which he bestows me. Let that executioner stand over my smiling face in bewilderment as the Roman soldiers did over Jesus and say, “Truly this was a son of God.” (Mark 15:39) “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Doctor’s Opinion”:
I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.