I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.
Shortly after deciding yesterday morning to be happy, I dropped my laptop computer and killed the hard drive, lid, and case. It’s a goner! The rest of my day went similarly. Not that I am complaining, but not everything is made rosy by a positive choice. It was a day of dropping, breaking, and losing things. There was one mishap that ended well: the crystal glass I knocked over didn’t break when it hit the floor spilling its contents everywhere. Incidentally, the glass was more than half full. See? I can be optimistic!
From Voices of Recovery
“As we have dealt lovingly with every person in our lives, our spiritual awakening has become a reality.” The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 81
Oh! Dealing lovingly was what’s been missing! I guess I lapsed into selfish thinking, which has had an effect on my behavior. I have been processing my Step Ten as I have gone along, but maybe I’ve been too conservative with the term “harm.” I may be harming by omission, failing to do the good I ought to do, and remaining too focused on myself.
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Ok, I must admit, to my shame and embarrassment, I was a fountain of cursing yesterday. I was not cursing any person, but I did use the foulest of language and called down curses even in God’s name on several occasions. This I regret and pray that God will cleanse me. His mercies are new every morning, and I am alive to see today’s fresh dose.
Acts 4:10-12 (NIV)
 then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed.  He is `the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone. ‘  Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”
Peter and John were changed by the Holy Spirit into bold, healers and orators of God’s message of Good News. Here they bring the great and difficult together in one statement: that we need a Savior, and that only Christ is He!
I know the Spirit uses me, and I usually feel relationship with God, but something is amiss lately. I know it must be in my lack of alignment with God, because I know He doesn’t leave me. I have some digging and praying to do. Clearly, the selfishness I am living right now is a grief to Him who has sealed me for redemption.
Psalm 51:10-12 (NIV)
 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
From A.A.’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 35
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.