I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
I’m still working to get my mind in the moment, rather than preoccupying myself with the failures of days past and the fears of what tomorrow might or might not bring.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
I have never crafted a measuring spoon or cast a graduated cup. The weights and measures I use are not of my creation or design, and yet they are the tools I use to identify my portion and know my limit. I am not in charge of one teaspoon, one cup, or one single ounce, and yet they are given to me as my provision. Likewise, my portion of life is not served to me on my command or according to my preference. As I take my meals one bite at a time, so I live my life one breath at a time. Living with my head above my feet, rather than leaning into the regrets of the past or the worries of tomorrow, I find myself better able to stand and face the current moment and breathe this present measure of life. It’s when I begin to lean into worry or remorse and out of grace that I begin to experience trouble.
From Proverbs 21 (NRSV):
“11 When the scoffer is punished, the simple is made wise;
But when the wise in instructed, he receives knowledge.”
I would very much like to be in the category of people who only require instruction rather than punishment, so to seek wisdom is a prudent goal.
God, grant me wisdom, that I may receive Your instruction; discernment to avoid the imposter; and diligence to act on what You teach me.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in John 18 (NRSV):
“37 Pilate therefore said to Him, ‘Are You a king then?’
Jesus answered, ‘You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.’
38 Pilate said to Him, ‘What is truth?’ And when he had said this, he went out again to the Jews, and said to them, ‘I find no fault in Him at all.’”
Jesus came into the world to testify to the truth, His own voice, and for the cause of becoming a Heavenly King (v. 36). It is this King to whom I pledge my allegiance! I seek to hear His voice, the Spirit of Wisdom Herself. There is no fault in the Truth, and so men still seek it. Some doubt, like Pilate apparently did, that Truth can actually be known, but Jesus declared that His own would hear Him and know His voice. John 10:27, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63:
“As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we become conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.