walking in sunlightAbstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I had a great time with my sister and her family yesterday.  We went to a nearby tourist town and acted like tourists, though we both grew up going there all the time.  I made the whole family a low-country boil, which they happily ate, and were surprised to enjoy something so simple yet tasty.   It was satisfying serving those around me.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“For most of us, the central factor in this spiritual awakening has been our decision to trust a Higher Power with every aspect of our lives.”   –  The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 99

When I was young I thought I had turned my life over to God.  The problem was, since age seven, I have lived a whole lot more life that I held onto for myself.  I learned that life sometimes hurts, and those hurts can make one afraid, and fear can make one hide from future hurts.  I unconsciously learned that certain chemicals could make me momentarily forget hurts, and that some of these chemicals were as close as Mother’s kitchen.  Submitting wholly to God, even trusting Him in the times that hurt, to bring about my good, has freed me from fear.  I still want to avoid pain, but I want God’s will for me even more, and I would rather hurt than step outside His will.

God, I thank You for correcting me when I step outside Your will.  Keep me always close to Your side, that I may be of better service to You and those around me.  May my life make You smile!

 

 

From Proverbs 15 (NKJV):

10 Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way,
And he who hates correction will die.”

See?  Pain and discomfort are nothing compared to harsh discipline and death!  It is well worth it for me to follow the will of God.  I read a C.S. Lewis quote yesterday that went like this:  “It is not in our self-interest to be selfish. Rather, self-denial is in our self-interest.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in John 12 (NKJV):

25 ‘He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.’”

44 Then Jesus cried out and said, ‘He who believes in Me, believes not in Me but in Him who sent Me.45 And he who sees Me sees Him who sent Me. 46 I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness.’”

The enigma of self-sacrifice resulting in self-preservation continues in this reading.  To step out of the darkened living and into the light, living Light as it were the source of my energy as well as the purpose of my energizing, promises to be the key to my ultimate end – eternal life in that Light.

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 66:

“But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.  We found that it is fatal.  For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.”

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’

Walking in sunlight all of my journey” is the opening line of a hymn called Heavenly Sunlight by Henry J. Zelley and George H. Cook.

 

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