Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We finally see that there is a limit to how much we have been hurt.  Our grievances are only so big and no bigger.  The hurt had a beginning, and it can have an end as well.”    –  The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 72

When I demoted myself from the position of god, and put God back on His throne, it made me take a smaller role in my life.  My feelings and wishes, though significant, were no longer in charge.  It was only natural that my disappointments grew smaller too, and the most amazing thing happened: my pain shrunk with them!  Instead of giant boulders crushing me under their weight, they became stepping stones on which I climbed to a closer relationship with my Creator.  I’m grateful for my hurts; they led me to a place of humble acceptance of my misdirection, and precipitated my willingness to change.

From Proverbs 13 (NKJV):

10 By pride comes nothing but strife,
But with the well-advised is wisdom.”

One of the themes that keeps hitting me in my reading lately is the idea that those who reject instruction or despise criticism will cut off their own blessing.  It is timely that I should hear such a message, because lately my supervision at work has gone through a restructuring, and while my new supervisor has taken some time off in the transition, a peer associate has been temporarily put in charge of my shift.  That rakes me against the grain as it is, but the individual selected for this peer supervision position is, shall we say, “perhaps spiritually sick.”  That is, he has an overinflated ego and an undernourished sense of security.  Apparently I and my seniority over him make him doubly insecure, and he has made it difficult for me the last several workdays.  This verse reminds me to keep pride in check and to graciously accept advice.  I want to be wise and I very much dislike strife, so these are my instructions.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in John 10 (NKJV):

my sheep little lamb27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.30 I and My Father are one.”

That last statement riled up the children of the devouring wolf into a murderous frenzy, and they tried to stone Jesus again, accusing Him of blasphemy.  When one makes a habit and a living off being religious and enforcing religious laws, I imagine it is quite threatening to be told it has been for nothing.  These Pharisees did not even understand what He was saying and yet wanted Him dead for saying it.  There is only one way Satan could have gotten them so stirred up without any more understanding than that, and that is with selfish pride.

Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ, I thank You for calling me and leading me to You.  Thank You for the payment for and promise of eternal life.  May You be glorified in my living and my dying; may I rest securely in Your hand, and follow Your leading wherever You would have me go.

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62:

“Selfishness – self-centeredness!  That, we think, is the root of our troubles.  Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.  Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.  They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.  Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.  We must, or it kills us!  God makes that possible.”


*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’