I am a compulsive overeater recovering by the grace of God one more day at a time.
I had a food dream last night. I was halfway through a fast food milkshake when I realized I was breaking my abstinence and, rather than stop, I quickly got a refill trying to drink it all before I came fully to my senses. The defiant willfulness of it was gut-wrenchingly shameful, even after I awoke and recognized the whole incident as a dream. I hate shamrock season!

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery

“Always to extend the hand and heart of OA to all who share my compulsion; for this I am responsible” (OA Responsibility Pledge).

Why would God rescue us if He knew we were going to turn around an imprison our brothers and sisters? Relief is given to us not just for our benefit, but so that we can comfort those in like circumstances with the comfort we ourselves have received. (2 Corinthians 1:4) When I share my hope with someone else it multiplies, and rather than being depleted I am renewed.

From Proverbs 3 (NKJV)

“[34] Surely He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble.”

When she was young, my daughter asked me why good behavior gets rewarded and bad behavior gets punished. She wanted to know why she couldn’t just behave at a medium level and be left alone. I can relate to the feelings behind her question, and that gives me some indication of the answer. “It is not good for man to be alone.” God made this observation shortly after breathing life into Adam. (Genesis 2:18) When I make a decision based on what I want and use the lack of victims for justification to get my way, I am promoting myself as god and that is not okay. God wants us to hunger for relationship with Him so that He can orchestrate it. There is no amount of rebellion that is acceptable or benign; all separation from God is deadly. That is why I come to Him daily, acknowledging my need for His intervention and gratefully accepting what grace He gives. I cannot be acceptable or “good enough” on my own!

From John 1 (NKJV)

“[11] He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. [12] But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in his name: [13] who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor the will of man, but of God.”

John wrote my favorite gospel. I like pictures, and John uses prophetic references to describe Jesus as Light, Life, and the Word made flesh. In these brief lines he managed to encapsulate the ministry of Christ and introduce the greatest story ever told. This concept of rebirth is a stumbling block for many to whom the Spirit has not revealed its truth, but it is the great liberation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ: that we, the valued created, have fallen into corruption, but that the Creator has come in man-clothes to show us the Way of rebirth, of starting over, and to pay the price for reunion with Him. Rebirth means I’m not better than others; I’ve just had my slate wiped clean and am being reconstructed in accordance with God’s will.

I also love the certificate of origin in verse 3:

“All things were made though Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”

That means I was always His to begin with. For me to give myself to God is just a homecoming, and not really that much of a gift. I am only a servant returning from rebellion to be adopted as a son!

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 164

“Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.”

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