Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †




From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

neuropathways“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” — George Santayana as quoted in For Today, p. 331

The programming of my brain has always bypassed whatever logic occasionally graced it when food or any other stressful stimulus presented itself.  Consequences were eclipsed by the monstrous appetite for me, mine and more, and all sanity vanished as disease and its companions wrangled me to helplessness and despair once again.  It is good for me to admit that, because without a constant reminder of my default programming, I am likely to forget I am sick, allow my ego to grow to self-sufficiency, unlatch the cage on my disease, and be off once again in a desperate cycle of anxiety, remorse and food.



From Proverbs 11:

6 The righteousness of the upright delivers them,
but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires.”

The entrapment of evil is called a “foothold” in Ephesians 4 and, according to that instructive text, the practical way out of it is to diligently practice renewal, turning from self-indulgence to love, truth, obedience, and forgiveness.

22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4)

The warning of Proverbs 11 is duplicity.  A person driven by two motivators is a torn and tattered soul; but one of integrity finds peace.



From my reading through the Bible, currently in Luke 5:

16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

This sentence is nestled in between Luke’s account of several miracles and the calling of the first apostles, so it gets overlooked, but its instruction is profound for one who wishes to follow in the example of Christ.  There are several specific instances when Jesus went to be alone and pray, but this verse says He did it often.  This connection to His Father is something I desire for myself.  If we find someone who has what we want, hear how they accomplished it, and do not do what they did, there is no one to blame but ourselves.




From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “It Might Have Been Worse”:

“The obsession of the mind was a little harder to understand and yet everyone has obsessions of various kinds. The alcoholic has them to an exaggerated degree. Over a period of time he has built up self-pity, resentments toward anyone or anything that interferes with his drinking. Dishonest thinking, prejudice, ego, antagonism toward anyone and everyone who dares to cross him, vanity and a critical attitude are character defects that gradually creep in and become a part of his life. Living with fear and tension inevitably results in wanting to ease that tension, which alcohol seems to do temporarily.”







*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

‡ From “Our Invitation to You” out of Overeater’s Anonymous:  “The OA recovery program is patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing only the words ‘alcohol’ and ‘alcoholic’ to ‘food’ and ‘compulsive overeater.’