Faith over DoubtAbstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We strive to: Stop kidding ourselves that a bite or two would make some bad situation better or easier to live with. By working the Twelve Steps, we develop a way of thinking and acting which enables us to live each day without eating compulsively, regardless of what may upset us or how hard the urge for a little taste may hit us.” — A Commitment to Abstinence, p. 2

“Regardless” represents my recovery pivot point.  I find that everything I do hinges on my regard.  If I choose to regard my cravings, I will act according to them and disregard my Higher Power’s will.  Conversely, if I disregard my cravings and lusts, my attention can then be given to the things that matter.  As I continually pray for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, etcetera, and for the relief of the bondage of self, I find that I am in no position to stand in the way of those prayers, and am then compelled (Yes, compelled. Not every compulsion is evil.) to move toward the hope I have that those prayers will be answered, rather than blocking them with my selfish, prideful will.  Who thought a candy bar would make anything better anyway?  Really!

 

 

From Proverbs 29:

“A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes
will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy.”

I don’t often think about this, but I guess there are some for whom the messages of salvation and of recovery are critically urgent.  Every day, people are dying in their despair, some drowning in high fructose corn syrup and others in general defiance or self-surety.  I ache for any and all of them.

The pang I have for the hurting reminds me that I have found what I have in graduating stages, and there may be something more to be revealed.  So I push in deeper, seeking more of God’s will for me and His supernatural power to carry that out, trusting that He is preparing and equipping me for the next thing.  I don’t want my neck getting stiff again!

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Mark 9:

Mark tells of the transfiguration of Jesus much as Matthew did in Matthew 17 and Luke will in Luke 9.  One of my favorite stories of Mark’s account of the Gospel is of the doubtful believer, because I can so relate to his response.  He is the parent of a demon-possessed child, and he is begging for Jesus’ help.

22b ‘But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.’

23 ‘‘If you can’?’ said Jesus. ‘Everything is possible for him who believes.’

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’”

Can anything so accurately sum up the duplicity of my own condition than this man’s exclamation?  I don’t think so, and I am certain that is why mountains do not move when I command them.  I so wish for the singleness of pure faith!

Help me, Father, to overcome doubt.  Dispel fear and empower me with faith.  I believe; help me add action to that belief so that faith may come alive!

 

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 55:

“For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.”

 

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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