I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“For today I will remember to let an infinite Higher Power enrich my life and broaden my horizons with His will, rather than shortchanging myself with the finite limits of my own human vision.”
My dad is fond of saying, “God’s way works best!” I always treated that statement like another favorite of his, “When all else fails, read the directions,” recognizing that both sayings had merit but never wanting to live by either of them. Since I have begun daily taking Step Three, however, I am proving that by living God’s way, I unlock for myself so much more joy, peace, and provision that it almost feels self-serving. When I fail to submit to this yielding of self in preference for God I find myself scratching and scraping with the universe for every morsel, dragging myself along for every inch of progress and even yet losing ground. God’s way really does work best, and things work best for me when I am happily walking in step, rather than going toe to toe with the Creator.
From Proverbs 26:
“21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.”
So many times I have raged and ranted and sparked firestorms in my life only to blame God for the heat and turbulence! I have often told of a prayer I prayed one Christmas night the third part of which was for “a lack of strife.” The first two parts of my prayer were answered with amazing speed, but this last seemed unreachable, that is until I came into program and began to recognize that the pain in my life was almost always my doing, not that of those around me, and certainly not that of God.
Quarrelsome man, why do you quarrel?
Because I am afraid I won’t get my way.
And what, quarrelsome man, would be so bad if you weren’t to get your way?
People might not recognize me as successful or powerful or potent.
But, quarrelsome man, are you successful, powerful, or potent in the grasping for your own way?
And, quarrelsome man, are you ever satisfied with your way when you get it?
Would it be better in your life, quarrelsome man, if you got more of your way or if God got more of His way in you?
God’s way works best, even for me!
Then why not, quarrelsome man, lay your will and way at the feet of Him who can do infinitely more in, about, and through you, and allow Him to breathe into you the Breath of Life for which you have been hungering and thirsting all your days?
Come, Lord Jesus, have Your way in me! Make me yours. I choose Life!
Giving up quarrels doesn’t seem like such a loss now. Does it, formerly quarrelsome man?
No. Grace fits much smoother. Thank you.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Mark 6:
The scene was a secluded shoreline across the lake from a busy, crowded village where people clambering for attention for their sick had so pressed Jesus and His apostles that they did not even have a chance to eat. Their escape to solitude had not worked, because seeing the direction of the boat, the crowds hurriedly multiplied and became a mass of 5000 men (plus women and children) waiting for them on that previously secluded shoreline. Part of the attraction was that the apostles were debriefing after having been sent out in twos, each telling stories of the miracles they were able to do in the name of Jesus. Even as they did so, when Jesus suggested they feed this crowd, the newly anointed miracle men could see no way to do it. So Jesus showed them. Using a boy’s lunch, the only thing that was offered to the cause, the Lord blessed the meal and began to pass it around. All were fed and there was a basketful of leftovers for each of the twelve apostles, an object lesson in their hand for the miraculous power of the Creator to create and supply.
The irony is that even after participating in such a miracle, because of their hardened hearts, the apostles were both unable to understand what had happened, and completely astonished and frightened to see, as they rowed away against the wind, the Lord Jesus walking on the water toward them.
Maker of miracles and me, You can restore broken things and multiply resources to meet needs, so I will trust You to build of me something useful, and to take care of me while You do it. I want to stop struggling against your wind and current, and just let You come to me over all that stands between us and pilot my vessel. Take over and let me follow!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63:
“Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: ‘God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!’”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.