Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †




From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“I started the program by doing everything I was supposed to do… Action is the magic word…” — Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition, p. 151

time for action no excusesAction definitely gets the ball rolling.  I have been going through old emails and found some encouraging ones from when I began.  They reminded me that I was intermittently working a popular diet that my doctor had recommended and, after my first meeting, without a full understanding of abstinence and recovery, one thing was clear: the “alcohol” of my insanity was the emotional tirade of eating.  So I “got back on my diet” (I didn’t know what else to call it back then) with a full commitment to never throw up my hands and eat in disgust again (one day at a time).  To that determined step forward I added a commitment to refrain from between meal snacking and from a few choice danger-foods, and my abstinence from compulsive eating was born.  It was imperfect, and has evolved over time, but it began just that way.

I believe most of us have a pretty good general idea of what we are “supposed to do” but it lies in such stark contrast to what we are willing to do that we deny it and even fire medical professionals who dare to utter the truth to our faces.  Like so many prophets in times of old, we kill the messenger in the hope our bitter reality dies with him but inevitably the truth catches up to us.  When it does there is only one solution: begin walking with it.





From Proverbs 24:

26 An honest answer
is like a kiss on the lips.”

I mentioned I have been going through old emails.  I was doing so because I was attempting to transition from one email service to another, and that would mean losing the history with the account I held since I began my OA recovery.  I was perusing the encouraging words of my fellows from back then, and it warmed me to remember how welcome I felt, how connected, how supported.  This honest, gentle, support is what I am supposed to be providing for those who have come alongside me since then.  I am grateful for the honest answers I have received, and hope to fill the prints of those before me to better guide the ones behind and beside.

Lord, make me kind, gentle, and supportive, so others may find me approachable company and that You might be glorified.





From my reading through the Bible, currently in Mark 4:

sowing seedSociology indicates that Jesus’ audience was comprised mostly of farmers, and He speaks their language in this chapter with several farming analogies in His parables.  It is here the disciples receive the Parable of the Sower (one who scatters seed) (vs. 3-9), one of the few parables Christ actually explained (vs. 13-20).  I found myself in His words, choking in my disease among the weeds.

18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”

Twice in this chapter (vs. 9, 23) Jesus said, “If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.”  He also quoted Isaiah 6:9-10 to explain why He spoke in parables (v. 12), to keep the darkened from understanding.  His call is for the spiritual ear to hear, but at the same time includes an invitation for anybody standing between two ears of flesh.  No one is excluded, but not everyone is gifted with the Spirit of God that opens spiritual ears.  It is this communion of spirit for which Jesus prayed that day, and for which He later gave His life.

Mark apparently loves the miracles, and he mentioned one Jesus did after waking from a sleep aboard a boat in a furious storm.  He spoke, calming the wind and waves, and demonstrating His authority even over nature (vs. 36-41).

Creator of Heaven and earth and me, still my soul and make me to lie down in Your green pastures.  Lead me beside Your still waters, and restore to me the joy of Your salvation.  Cultivate me so that the weeds no longer matter and the seed You planted in me would sprout, grow, and produce a fruitful harvest.  Give me the eyes and ears of Your Spirit, that I may know Your truth, and that Wisdom and Understanding would be my kin.  Draw me in and keep me thirsty for Your communion; it is the only craving I wish to regard.







From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 25:

“The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.”







*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.