I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“…there is no one right way to do Step Eleven. ‘Keep it simple’ is a good slogan to apply here. Remembering that our goal is to develop a closer conscious contact with God, prayer is simply what we do when we talk with our Higher Power…” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 93
Misconceptions about God, prayer, meditation, self-worth, and the tattered connection between them all constitute the bulk of what is wrong with most of us. The last thing we need is more restrictions and rules about the right and wrong way to open communication lines with God! The God I read about in the Bible has spent most of history trying to close the gap between mankind and Himself, not make it more difficult to traverse. The one thing that usually stands in the way between us is selfishness. Once I put that to rest, I can finally share open communication with God, which seems to get better, closer, and more intimate the more I do it. Conversely, just like other relationships, it grows colder with neglect.
From Proverbs 21:
“17 He who loves pleasure will become poor;
whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.”
“20 In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil,
but a foolish man devours all he has.”
The evil is apparently not in the pantry, but in the lust of the one who keeps it. The poverty of verse 17 is not just a financial one, but a depletion of spirit, resource, and hope. I have proved this by having once been the foolish man who devoured all he has and found more than just my pantry empty. The only way to turn from cravings is to treat them with total disregard. Regard is like a toggle switch, and I can choose what I will prioritize today as I did when I first began my abstinence. I choose to regard Kingdom purpose and Heavenly wisdom. Today I will disregard cravings, lusts, and the pull of animal instinct. I will be a spirit today, drawn forward by my physical carriage. I will care for my vehicle, but will not make it the whole.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Mark 1:
“7 And this was his [John’s] message: ‘After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. 8 I baptize you with[Or in] water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.’
“9 At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven: ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.’”
Wash me in Your Spirit, Lord Jesus, and make me clean. Descend on me and make my life a living lamp of Your grace for people to see and find You not me. I am clay, but You are Light. Shine in my life as You are pleased to do!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 57:
“Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.