I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
It is the twentieth day of 2013 already! It is hard to believe that January is already two-thirds over. I have just completed my twenty-fourth year with my current employer, and have begun my last full calendar year with this company. I am scheduled to retire from this career on March 28, 2014 God willing, after which I hope to embark on another. The Lord is still directing me toward whatever is to come, but it is nice to know He is in no hurry and He is not rushing me through this day today which, for now, is all I have.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“’Taint worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes.” — Sarah Orne Jewett as quoted in For Today, p. 182
The house I grew up in was also home to my great-uncle. Unkie was to me what I guess a grandfather is to most people, except he was always there. Whenever we wanted to visit or just have someone to watch cartoons with, we could go to the basement apartment where he lived and spend time with this gentle old retired sailor who had no other family but ours. Unkie had little sayings like this one, and reading it I am instantly reminded of him. The simple wisdom and get-to-the-point slang ring of that homespun hero of my youth.
God, thanks for Unkie, for the time You let him in my life. Thank You for wisdom. Please keep sending it; that last taste was so good. Help me to live this moment and each that come after it to their fullest, not leaning too far forward to be able to bear up under the strain. I know You will never give me too much to handle, but it is amazing how much I can add to the load You give me when I carry my past and future along with it. Give me strength to carry Your will only, and wisdom to drop the rest, and serenity will be my grace in each of the moments I trust in You.
From Proverbs 20:
“24 A man’s steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand his own way?”
My lack of view of my end result does not absolve me of the responsibility to equip myself for a future. I do not know specifics, but God has given me a general direction, and it continues to be my stewardship to follow His leading. I don’t have to understand it to trust that God is in it.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Matthew 28:
“18 Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’”
The single most important event in the history of mankind is told in three words: “He has risen.” The message Jesus gave His disciples was alluded to on the cross when He said, “It is finished” (John 19:30), for all the mystical battling of dark versus light was resolved in His sacrifice and certified by His resurrection. Now, with the authority He earned by His obedience, He made His Great Commission, and in so doing gave every disciple through the ages a mission that echoes from the one given Adam: “Multiply!”
Perhaps my favorite promise of the Bible is in the benediction of this holy charge, “I am with you always.” My Higher Power walks with me. He spends Himself on me and my life in order to make me more alive and a better spiritual being. He is engaged with me. I have scars from the disappointment of losing people I have counted on, but His promise will never fail. His love will always envelop me, just the way I need it to – no matter what!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68:
“We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns.”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.