I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
I must be coming down with something. That is the only explanation for the weariness that overwhelmed my gym workout yesterday. Today, I have a few extra minutes because a regularly scheduled service opportunity was cancelled today. I might actually go back to bed for a much-needed nap. I have to take care of me, so I can be more useful to others later.
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“It is essential that all of us understand and respect anonymity if OA is to survive and we are to find recovery here.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 199
The fact that I don’t mind if people know my name and affiliation does not change the essential of an anonymous program. In fact, it is one of the reasons the tradition exists – as a failsafe against self-promotion and status seeking within and surrounding the organization. Sure, it would be nice for people to know who is attached to this blog, but if my name were published in association with these writings, I might not feel as comfortable sharing the deeper secrets of my mind and soul. I would like to be able to say I will be the guest speaker at a retreat, but that promotes me rather than the event. I’m sure the many who have penned books on their recovery would like to see their full names on the cover. Yet, I see the likes of Joe McQ and Elisabeth L, fellows in recovery, writing from their hearts and not their reputations. I like the fellowship of recovery this way: inside-out, with facades put away, no social status, no professional hierarchy, no ego-boosting or business networking, just naked spirits and their unified connection to a power greater than themselves – principles above personalities.
From Proverbs 27:
“19 As water reflects a face,
so a man’s heart reflects the man.”
Here we see that, without last names and job descriptions, accolades and accumulations, we are actually known by what we really are: our true heart. Perhaps we in Twelve-Step communities have landed on a better, purer way. What does the outward appearance reflect except the fake, idol, self-interests of mankind?
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Matthew 4:
4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[Deut. 8:3]”
I notice that Satan’s attempt to veer Jesus off His track came from three fronts, as though kicking at all three legs of a milking stool: physical, mental, and spiritual. First, he attacked His physical need – hunger, by taunting Him to turn stones into bread. Next, he attacked ego, using Christ’s status as a trump card to be played for advantage. Last, he attempted to call into question Jesus’ spiritual connection, insinuating that worshiping him would bring the Lord greater rewards than worshiping God. Satan attacks all men and women on multiple fronts. If he were red and carried a pointed pitchfork, we would certainly be wary against his assaults, but he comes in disguises most pleasant and with aromas most enticing, twisting words we know and using sources we trust to make arguments that are contrary to all we hold dear in our hearts. He is a master of deception and he wins his battle victories one compromise at a time.
Jesus is the Bread of Life, the Word made flesh. As the Israelites were fed mystery bread from Heaven on their exodus from Egypt, so each of us can be sustained by the spirit and nature of God with us, Christ Jesus, the anointed King of the universe!
Lord Jesus, rebuke Satan the devourer from off my life and household, and help me to stand up against his wiles and ways. Keep me from serving myself, because it is the selfish part of me that is exploitable. Keep me safely in Your will, for You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life!
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 53:
“When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crises we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What was our choice to be?”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.