turning point interstate signAbstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I am returning to work today, so it’s going to be a busy morning.  I hate the excluded feeling of leaving the house for work when everyone else is home.   It’s like I’m missing an opportunity I was never offered.  It’s silly and juvenile, but I want to be where the family is.  This is part of the self-will I will sacrifice today, to do what I must, rather than what I want.


From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“What do I need to write about? I do not have to be afraid to look into my heart and put down what I find.” — For Today, p. 178

pen and journalI carry a journal into which I write down my deepest and most relevant thoughts.  Many end up here on this blog, where anonymity allows for a certain measure of transparency, but the most intimate remain just between me and God.  No sooner would I share the cherished confidences of that relationship than I would the secrets of my marital bedroom.  That so, nothing, absolutely nothing fails to become more clearly defined when I process it, set words to it, and put it on paper.  My mind is a scattered web of disorganized facts, figures, and unanswered questions, and they rattle and whistle in the wind of a new thought, but each one settles down and becomes clearer when it comes into focus at the point of a pen.



From Proverbs 15:

10 Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path;
he who hates correction will die.”

12 A mocker resents correction;
he will not consult the wise.”

21 Folly delights a man who lacks judgment,
but a man of understanding keeps a straight course.”

24 The path of life leads upward for the wise
to keep him from going down to the grave.”

Today, we have two pair of similar verses, hammering home a critical message that change is not my enemy, unless it is departure from the path of life, the straight course, the upward Way.  It is foolishness to resist correction, and such folly carries a death sentence.





From my reading through the Bible,” currently in Zechariah 1, 2, and 3:

Therefore tell the people: This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Return to me,’ declares the Lord Almighty, ‘and I will return to you,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Do not be like your forefathers, to whom the earlier prophets proclaimed: This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Turn from your evil ways and your evil practices.’ But they would not listen or pay attention to me, declares the Lord.”

We humans, and especially we self-will addicts, don’t mind turning to God, as long as it doesn’t involve turning from our evil (self-serving) ways and practices.  We like the idea of relationship with power, of receiving guidance, and the secure feelings of resting in the hands that created the universe, but when it comes to modifying our behavior to align with the Holy One, we would rather use the phrase “as we understand Him” as permission to shave that part of Him from our definition of God.  The truth is I cannot fully turn to God, unless I fully turn from selfishness.   It is the same coming about, one about-face, and we never finish doing it.  As long as I breathe air, I will continue to have to let go of human will and grab onto the Saving Spirit of God.

In these chapters, Zechariah was given several visions of things to come: a horseman among myrtles (1:8); four horns and a craftsmen who overthrew them (1:21); a measuring angel and One who commands the angels, who promised to be the walls and light of Jerusalem (2:4-5).  In Chapter 2, the coming of Christ is foretold.

10 ‘Shout and be glad, O Daughter of Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you,’ declares the Lord. 11 ‘Many nations will be joined with the Lord in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you.’”

Chapter 3 is a poignant vision of the High Priest Joshua (a variant name of Jeshua or “Jesus”) standing in filthy clothes before God with Satan accusing him.  The priest was cleaned and dressed by the angels of the Lord and the pronouncement came that this priest and his associates were symbolic of things to come (3:8).

“I am going to bring my servant, the Branch. See, the stone I have set in front of Joshua! There are seven eyes[c] on that one stone, and I will engrave an inscription on it,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day.”

This is Christ the Rock (1 Corinthians 10:4), in whom the sevenfold Spirit of God dwells.  (Revelation 1:4, 3:1, 4:5, 5:6)




From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 116:

“But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing.”





*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.