Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

Yesterday was one for the books – if one were writing a book called Emotional Relapse.  Its subtitle could be War at Peace.  Sometimes sanity is stripped away to its barest thread, and abstinence precariously hangs by it.  Last night was just such a night.  In a whirl of fear and fury, I pulled the drapes on the day by retiring to bed early, sure I had done all the harm I could do in one day.  The irony is that my fears center around not being loved, and my reaction makes me entirely unlovable.

God rescue me from this slavery to a human self!

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“It is as if I wandered away from home long ago in an amnesia so deep I didn’t even know I was lost. But something kept calling me to a pathway of healing and hope. It called me to OA. It called me home.”

 

 

From Proverbs 5:

that you may maintain discretion
and your lips may preserve knowledge.”

God gives knowledge and wisdom.  What will we do with them?  Let them spoil from neglect?  Or give them our attention, storing them securely in our hearts and minds, refusing to dilute them with compromising lips?

 

 

From my reading through the Bible,” currently in Jonah 2:

Jonah DeliveredHere is one of my favorite prayers:

Jonah’s Prayer

1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:

‘In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave[a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters threatened me,[b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O Lord my God.

‘When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.

‘Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord.”

10 And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.’”

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 8:

“No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.”

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

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