Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

Yesterday, God did what He often does, and completely vaporized a circumstance that bothered me with anxiety.  As many times as I gave advice not to worry or live in the feared results, I was guilty of worrying and planning my reactions in the event the results I feared were realized.  This proved a futile exercise, except to prove once again that I am human and God is not.




From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“OA believes that compulsive eating is a threefold disease: physical, emotional, and spiritual, which, like alcoholism and drug abuse, can be arrested, but not cured.” — Introducing OA to Health Care Professionals

Part of me wishes for, and even argues with myself about the possibility of, being cured.  It is the job of our enemy to distract us from the fact that we are at war for our souls, and my disease would like me to think I was rid of it, just so it could once again have the element of surprise.




From Proverbs 18 (NKJV):

1 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.”

Well, here’s a picture of what is wrong with me in my natural state (and honestly, the state I am in today for some reason).  “Raging against all…” sounds like what I do when I retreat into isolation.  The opposite, wise judgment, would be to connect with God and man, pursue opportunities to minister to others, and reach beyond myself.  Rage turns self against itself in a tightly closed, hateful, little ball into which nothing can enter and out of which nothing can be extended.





From my reading through the Bible,” currently in Hosea 1 and 2:

Hosea was a prophet who was called to live out God’s message to Israel, who had become an adulterous nation.  God instructed him to take an adulterous wife who would serve as allegory for fickle Jerusalem.  He married Gomer, who bore him children of shame.  They were given names that meant “not loved” and “not my people” by command of God, again as demonstration of the national alienation from God.  Still, God promised to take back His defiant prize in Chapter 2.

16 “In that day,” declares the Lord,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.[c]’”

19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in[d] righteousness and justice,
in[e] love and compassion.
20 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the Lord.

Thank You, God, for receiving me though I am a rebellious creature, for pursuing me even though I was covered in the filth of my sin, for redeeming me and collecting me to Your company, and for continually restoring me to become the inheritance You intended.  Do not withhold Your grace from me, and let me not fall from Your sight.






From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 25:

“Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.”








*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

In order to shed light on the old truths from a different angle and exercise my willingness with a little change, I switched from using the New International Version (NIV or “NIV1984”) to the New King James Version (NKJV) just for this month’s reading of Proverbs.