Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

I never thought, when I came into the rooms, that I would ever eat a routine menu.  I heard some experienced OAs in the rooms say that they ate “basically the same thing every day,” and it made me cringe.  Now, oddly enough, I am more comfortable eating my routine menu than trying to find suitable substitutes that fall within the same guidelines of my Plan of Eating.  There is safety in routine, as long as the routine contains an array of healthy foods.  Still, yesterday, I had a wild idea and put almost everything I normally eat for lunch into a soup pot with about two cups of water and made a soup out of it.  It was a neat change, and I think I may have stumbled onto my new winter lunch.  By the way, I couldn’t bring myself to stew lettuce, but Bok-choy (Chinese cabbage) made a nice, soup-friendly alternative.

I have been thinking of the word “engage.”  To an auto mechanic, it means the power source is connected to the point of propelling friction, namely the wheels.  This is accomplished in a motor vehicle with a transmission.  To a teenage girl, “engage” means a dream relationship at the pinnacle of hope and eager anticipation of the wedding day.  This relationship is established by a humble request and a promise.   I have considered that my relationship with my Higher Power is summed up in this word, for I celebrate that I am the betrothed bride of Christ, as part of His Church, whom He loved and for whom gave Himself up; and it is by aligning myself with His will and power that I find my purpose and strength.  Today, I am engaged to and with God!  It is by humbling myself and taking His hand that I commence this relationship today, and it is by living in that connection for His purposes that I transmit His power to my life, and remain in gear as I power over this terrain.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“When we start to feel ourselves better than others, let us remember that true humility does not seek power or authority.  … As we search for the value that God has designed for each of us, we must remember that serenity comes with acceptance.”

“God, Your will be done!” we say emphatically, meanwhile partly hoping for that shiny new “will” in the corner window, the one like the Johnsons have.  Surely if Johnson can swing the payments on one, then I could.  Johnson has only been at the company for half as many years as I have.  That rookie doesn’t deserve a “God’s will” like that any more than I do!

Envy is just bitter jealousy with a catalog number attached, aroused by a false sense of self-superiority or self-perceived inequity.  It is a silent declaration that God is not enough.  If “godliness with contentment is great gain,” then acceptance is the key to a wealthy storehouse of enough(Reference 1 Timothy 6:6)

Our value is not attached to the things we possess, but in the One who created us.  As I continue to build my relationship with my Higher Power, my need to hoard honor, esteem or belongings diminishes.  In fact, I notice that the things I once prized become weighty chains, holding me back from the opportunity to serve others.  Consider the percentage of life we spend to procure, pay for, and maintain the things we possess.  At what point do we admit that those things actually possess us?  If I would volunteer at a food pantry, but find that I haven’t the time because I have to mow my gigantic lawn, dust my enormous house, polish my fancy car, or work overtime to afford all of it, then which owns whom?   Perhaps some of our stress comes from the conflict of recognizing this and doing nothing to change it.

 

 

 

 

From Proverbs 8 (NLT):

31 And how happy I was with the world he created;
how I rejoiced with the human family!”

Wisdom speaks in a different dialect in this translation.  She says what we all would say if we had her eyes of equality and referred to ourselves as members of the “human family.”

Lord, make the works of Your hands my delight.  May I be fueled by Your garden to serve Your children.  May I work and play within the boundaries You have set and be joyful.

 

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Ezekiel 4:

Talk about a strict Plan of Eating!  Ezekiel was given orders to prepare 390 days worth of provision for himself, baked over manure into cakes (Hello, Ezekiel bread), and then to remain on his side for those days to commemorate the 390 years of the rebellion of Israel.  He was to roll over and do the same for 40 days on his right side, for the 40 years of Judah’s rebellion.  From that position, he was to prophesy to a model God had him build of Jerusalem under siege.

16 He then said to me: ‘Son of man, I will cut off the supply of food in Jerusalem. The people will eat rationed food in anxiety and drink rationed water in despair, 17 for food and water will be scarce. They will be appalled at the sight of each other and will waste away because of their sin.’”

God, as one who has intoxicated myself with food as a habit, I know that I have been rebellious and selfish.  Help me to live content in Your provision.  With You I am more than satisfied!  I am grateful for Your abundance and vitality!  With an abundant life, I need no added fluff.  Thank You!

 

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 20:

“Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”

 

 

 

Footnotes:

*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.

For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.

In order to get a fresh perspective, I switched from using the New International Version (NIV or “NIV1984”) to a version I have not used before, the New Living Translation (NLT), just for this month’s reading of Proverbs.  I normally avoid switching, because it confuses my attempts at memorization, but I thought it might shed light on the old truths from a different angle and exercise my willingness with a little change.

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