Abstinent Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time.  †

Yesterday was a lot of fun!  Since one in our party was wheelchair-bound, I got an entirely new perspective of the amusement park we visited.  It was more about companionship, enjoying the beautiful things together more slowly, and taking the time to plan ahead to effect maximum amusement with minimum movement.  I am amazed how much I take for granted, and how much my perspective changes the more time I spend with my friend who suddenly lost his mobility only one year ago.

At the entrance to the park, the phrase “medical diets” was listed as one of the exceptions to the rules governing entry with outside food, and so I capitalized it for the sake of my abstinence.  Compulsive overeating is, after all, a disease, and I am recovering.  I got no more odd looks while opening cans of beets, beans and salmon at a hamburger café than I ever did going back to buffets for fourth and fifth helpings, and this time there was much less of me to be gawked at!   (Note: even the “light” menu option at that cafe had 840 calories!)

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Our Higher Power is the only source of help that is always available to us, always strong enough to lift us up and set our feet on the path of life.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 98

I’m not sure I completely got this until I began to sponsor.  Once I heard someone else desperately complain that I did not answer when they called, and heard myself explain to them that I was not their Higher Power but only their sponsor, did I finally get it.  I had also previously experienced some feelings of disappointment when people were not there to receive my calls or had not responded to my writing according to my expectations.   The Tools of Recovery help, but they are not The One who helps.  “Go to the throne instead of the phone!”  I recommend now.  “Pray before you stray!”  “There is only One who can help; ask Him!”

Casting my madness on another human constitutes swapping idols and produces nothing but a different flavor of disappointment.  Developing the habit of reliance on God is necessary to turn my life around.  It is He who made, maintains, and is the path of life, and only He can reveal it to me.

 

 

 

 

From Proverbs 4:

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.”

Wisdom is a nanny who will allow her charge to wander off.  It is our responsibility to stay close and carry her along, and in return, the promise of her oversight outshines any other.

I read also, in the words of Wisdom, a little more of the “path of life” described in the VOR.

11 I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.”

 

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Jeremiah 30:

‘In that day,’ declares the Lord Almighty,
‘I will break the yoke off their necks
and will tear off their bonds;
no longer will foreigners enslave them.
Instead, they will serve the Lord their God
and David their king,
whom I will raise up for them.’”

Thank You, Holy Father, for bringing me to this day of abstinence, a day of unity with You, of liberty from the sinful compulsions that once bound and burdened me.  I choose today to serve You, Lord God, and the Son of David, whom You rose up for me just as You promised.  I trust You to deliver me from my enslavement to self-will, from my enemies – those defects of character that have haunted my existence and hounded my service to You and Yours, and from the idol of food.  Thank You, merciful and mighty King, for rescuing me and healing me when no one else could!

12 This is what the Lord says:

‘Your wound is incurable,
your injury beyond healing.
13 There is no one to plead your cause,
no remedy for your sore,
no healing for you.’”

17 ‘But I will restore you to health
and heal your wounds,’
declares the Lord,
‘because you are called an outcast,
Zion for whom no one cares.’”

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “His Conscience”:

“One morning as I was walking to work, from seemingly nowhere at all, there came a thought that there was a possibility that I might never drink again. I have had no desire to drink since that time. It was certainly nothing that I myself could have done that brought this new-found peace. There was only one answer. This Power greater than myself had, as to so many others, restored me to sanity.”

(For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.)

Advertisements