Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time. *

I think barometric pressure has more to do with moods than moon phases, but certainly both must play a role.  Since the human body and brain are mostly water, it stands to reason.  I am still fighting a numbness, the kind that follows a long blue spell, complete with indifference and that very familiar “oh well” resignation to most things.  There is a long, enduring rain outside, one which my lawn very much needs, but which my emotional storm inside seems to be mimicking.  Perhaps it will brighten up when the sun comes out.   Until then, the thunder rolls!

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We are all valuable human beings, worthy of respect. In my journey of recovery, I am called to be the best person I can be and to respect others for who they are.”

 

Until I could actually see that I was no better than anyone else, I had to begin to ‘act as if’ it was true.  This is where my friend’s advice, flipped over, really came in handy.  She said, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”  I said, “What I think of others is none of their business either.”  How many harms I have refrained from perpetrating since applying this bit of sound reason!

 

Unforgiveness is the bitter garden of hate and discontent, where hurt and disappointment grow to judgment and scorn, and fear and failure flourish into anxiety and despair.  Proper humility is righteous alignment underneath the forgiveness of God, where it can pour onto me and flow into the lives of others.  I can extend grace because I have received it, and all the weeds of corruption wither and die when relationships are as they were intended to be, extensions of the love of the Heavenly Father for His children – one and all.

 

From Proverbs 5:

“For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths.”

For some reason, I still lapse into Adam and Eve thinking, that I can somehow hide from the Creator.  Whether I use fig leaves or just distance and the all-too-familiar silent treatment, my moving away from God does nothing for me but make things worse.  I need to recognize that in His careful view is where I receive the most comfort, the most love, the most benefit.  It is almost selfish to want to be near Him, but I need to remind myself that the selfish pride that entices me away is contrary to my abundant life.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Jeremiah 3:

22 ‘Return, faithless people; I will cure you of backsliding.’

‘Yes, we will come to you, for you are the Lord our God.’”

 

I am apparently not the first one with this problem.  God has repeatedly demonstrated His willingness to take His children back when they turn to Him.  He will yet love me!

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, from “The Fearful One”:

“And it was so simple. The sum and substance of it seemed to be that if I would turn to God, it was very probable that He could do a better job with my life than I had.”

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