Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.

 

Here’s how not to start your morning!  I just explained to my wife, in detail, why I felt justified going to bed last night angry at a coworker, though we both know full well that God has directed us not to let the sun go down on our anger, according to Ephesians 4:26.  I even described how my forehead was sore from the furrowing of my brow!  Then, still stewing, I sat down to do my morning devotional meditation and spilled piping hot coffee all over my legs and chair upholstery.  While I sat at the edge of my tub, showering my legs in cool water, I thought of the parallel between being burned up emotionally and physically, and I remembered a lesson from my Higher Power:

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you.”
(Proverbs 25:21-22)

When the Apostle Paul quoted this statement, he put it in the context of a warning against vengeance, and added, “21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

 

I thought about how burned up I was and how, even as much as I had, in my anger, wanted liquid burning coals poured over someone else rather than me, I was doing more harm to myself by being angry than I would ever actually do to him.  I thought about how peacefully he was probably sleeping at that very moment, and I realized that my resentment was only burning me.  I was ashamed, and I asked God to free me of my anger.  I was able to see how, even though I might have been right in an argument, by turning to anger I had aligned myself with Wrong.

 

God, forgive me for my anger.  Free me from my habits that harm.

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“For many of us, this freedom came when we took Step Three and turned the entire problem over to our Higher Power.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 20

 

Wow!  Reading this was as if in confirmation of my previous thoughts and prayers.  God is an amazingly attentive orchestrator of events!

From Proverbs 23:

17 Do not let your heart envy sinners,
but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.”

 

What is my zeal?  My passion?  What excites me and makes my heart race?  Is the love of God the roaring fire in the engine of my life, stoked and chugging power?  Or is it just a decorative candle occasionally lit to add ambience to my collection of enviable surroundings?  Envy is a beginning of corruption, because what I want I pursue, and what I pursue I become.

 

God of Heaven and Earth, make You my one pursuit, my highest priority!  Empower me with the fuel of Your purpose.  Restore me to Your design.  Walk me ever closer to You!  The only star I want to imitate is the one of which Daniel spoke, “Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.” (Daniel 12:3)  Please make me wise, so I can discern and do helpful behavior before I perpetrate the harmful.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Isaiah 56:

Isaiah’s prophecy encouraged patience in its promise of the coming deliverance for the faithful, who persevere, and deny themselves the passions of the flesh.

1 This is what the Lord says:

‘Maintain justice
and do what is right,
for my salvation is close at hand
and my righteousness will soon be revealed.”

 

He described the wicked, bound for destruction, in a way I found struck far too close to a very recent home:

11 They are dogs with mighty appetites;
they never have enough.
They are shepherds who lack understanding;
they all turn to their own way,
each seeks his own gain.”

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 56:

“In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away.”

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