Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.

Back to the grind today.  I’ve got the staples set and ready for a work-week worth of meals, and laundry all done and ready to go.  I have made provision for my success, and am looking forward to whatever comes.

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“If something has repeatedly worked well for us or for someone else in a similar situation, we may assume it will work in our present situation, ultimately bringing good to us and to others, which is God’s will.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 24

Since my default flesh response is argument, I contested this statement when I first read it.  How could an eating recovery program be so arrogant as to claim to know what God’s will for their entire readership might be?  Simple! Whatever one’s concept of God might be, one has to concede that any designer of anything would want that design to function properly, to flourish, to cooperate in unison with the rest of his or her design.  With that admission, I argued myself right out of contention with this statement, and opened myself to following this proven path.  As I began to follow where others had trodden, I often compared the results I got doing things the new way with the results I got following my own way, and each contrast was affirmation that I was now on the right track.

My Higher Power tells me I was created for the purpose of doing good things for those around me, things He has prearranged for me to do. (Ephesians 2:10)   As I find myself following the path of recovery, I approach these opportunities more alert to them, better able to respond to them, and more willing to meet them.  Fulfilling my true purpose in life makes living far more rewarding.  The desperate cries of “Why?” and “How long?” seem to have disappeared, as it says in The Promises:

“That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.”

From Proverbs 19:

16 He who obeys instructions guards his life,
but he who is contemptuous of his ways will die.”

Oh, look!  I found a description of myself in the latter part of this proverb: “contemptuous of his ways.”  Dictionary.com lists synonyms for contemptuous: disdainful, sneering, insolent, arrogant, supercilious, haughty.  Those more accurately fit what I gently described as having a “default flesh response” of argument.  I found two other verses in today’s reading that provide further incentive to accept instruction, as if death wasn’t enough.

23 The fear of the Lord leads to life:
Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.”

27 Stop listening to instruction, my son,
and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

Contentment would be nice.  Wouldn’t it?  Is it even fathomable for an addict or compulsive overeater?  Satisfaction with what I have has always eluded me.  The hunger for more of God, which I described Tuesday, should be the only drive I have left, as long as I keep from straying from His path for me.  All else is, forgive the reference, icing on the cake.

God, keep me faithfully following Your will, never mine.  Help me to accept Your instruction and that of my sponsors, and remain open to the suggestion of successful fellows in recovery.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Isaiah 51:

God, through Isaiah, spoke in this chapter of the everlasting deliverance of Israel, and even ridiculed the anxieties of the redeemed.  This reminds me that my insecurities, those resentments of things that haven’t happened yet if they will at all, have no business in the life of faith.

11 The ransomed of the Lord will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

12 ‘I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mortal men,
the sons of men, who are but grass…”

22 This is what your Sovereign Lord says,
your God, who defends his people:
‘See, I have taken out of your hand
the cup that made you stagger;
from that cup, the goblet of my wrath,
you will never drink again.’”

I have had to ask myself in recovery, “Who am I to contest God’s value of me?”  This reading has me asking, “Who am I that I would fear man’s involvement in my life?”  Proper alignment with and attitude toward God should eliminate any fear or worry.  With these anxieties gone, there is nothing to medicate, no reason to binge, no overwhelming shadow of doubt waiting to pour onto my head.  There is just celebratory life lived in the Light of the Son!  Halleluia!

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 77:

“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.”

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