Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.

Today, I am excited to participate with my son in an occasion for which I have long hoped.  Last night he asked me to accompany him to the Navy Recruiter’s office this morning so that he may inquire about enlisting.  There are just enough hurdles to his enlistment that overcoming them will take the intervention of God, but I know He is able and I celebrate that my son’s will is maturing to willingness.  I pray that his hope is not deferred, and his heart sickened by rejection.  But most of all, Junior and I are praying for God’s will to be done.

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“From now on, we cease telling ourselves we are always going to be dishonest, selfish, abusive, stupid, or bad people. Instead, we repeatedly affirm to ourselves the truth about ourselves— that we are becoming honest, caring, nurturing, wise, and effective human beings as we practice our new behaviors day by day.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 64

Scripture tells me my Higher Power will someday give me a white stone upon which will be a name that only He and I know.  What I have been will be forgotten and I will celebrate my God-assigned identity, as an intimately shared secret, and carry it with me forever.

Similarly even now, I am not what I was.  I am being remade, regenerated out of the sum of my defects.  Much like the formless void of creation, God hovers over me and calls out the things I am to become and I respond, first with the dawning of Light, next boundaries and shape, then the stirring up of Life in wondrous forms.

To wallow in the destruction and despair of my past would be to deny myself of the great work my Heavenly Father is doing in me.  Calling old ways back into existence, rather than embracing the new, sabotages His construction effort.  It is the destroyer’s work to attempt to remind me of what I was, had, didn’t have, wanted, wished for, or was otherwise disappointed in or about.  It is grace that lets me let go of all those things, breathe a deep helping of Life, and rejoice in the knowledge of “enough,” celebrating the new identity of relationship with God.

(References Genesis 1:2, John 1:1-4, Revelation 2:17)

From Proverbs 2:

Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.”

This is one of the “then”s that makes the “if” worth searching out.  What a mystery understanding is!  The more I am given the less I need.  I want to know enough to follow diligently, but I find the questions “why?” and “what?” are just foxholes for doubt to nest in, and I want no more of that.

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Isaiah 32:

The tendency of the Spirit to masterfully orchestrate the readings of His Word continually amazes me!  In the midst of these prophecies of the “Kingdom of Righteousness” and the “Women of Jerusalem,” God gives, through Isaiah, confirmation of my previous meditations concerning the construction of peaceful intimacy with God and the destroyer’s sabotage. 

 

The scoundrel’s methods are wicked,
he makes up evil schemes
to destroy the poor with lies,
even when the plea of the needy is just.
But the noble man makes noble plans,
and by noble deeds he stands.”

 

17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.
18 My people will live in peaceful dwelling places,
in secure homes,
in undisturbed places of rest.”

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 75:

“We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.”

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