Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.

I made it to the gym after all I accomplished yesterday, but not until 10pm. It wasn’t ideal, but it was acceptable. Today is return-to-work day. Today is also the day I celebrate one year of maintenance of my healthy physical weight, 365 single days at a time.

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From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“What we are entirely ready for, actually, is to have the difficulties our defects cause us removed while we hang on to the defects themselves.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 53

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Boy! Does this statement peek under the covers of a lot of lives? This was one of the statements that helped me apply the word “insanity” to my own condition. What is really wrong with me, even more than the symptom of compulsive overeating, is that I am addicted to my way, or in other words self-will. The glaringly obvious contradiction of this statement points that out. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too; or drink my poison and hope my enemy croaks; or tear one’s flesh and not get bloody. No wonder I was in a constant state of frustration! My will and way are not unified, but scattered by a storm of emotional turbulence that seemed to never end, and often in direct contradiction to the ideals I professed. I needed a unidirectional compass heading to steer by that wasn’t swayed by circumstance, condition, method or mood. I had always believed in a higher moral standard, but my understanding of its grading system was warped, and it left me feeling inadequate, ashamed, and ultimately rebellious. That rebellion is at the heart of the sentiment of this all too true reality of our diseased attitude. It is the same rebellion that begs to have the nausea of a hangover removed, but is not willing to give up the binge that caused it. The reality of the universe is that behavior has consequences. In order to be free of consequences, we have to find a release from the behavior that caused them. In recognizing this need we become aware, many for the first time, of the need for a Power greater than ourselves. In my case, I became aware that I had demoted the God I professed to a position subordinate to my own self-will, and therefore needed to promote Him back to His rightful position. When I am faithful to continue promoting God and demoting self, I am freed from the insane notion that I might get what suits me without consideration of anyone else.

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From Proverbs 12:

28 In the way of righteousness there is life;
along that path is immortality.”

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The Bible calls the unidirectional compass heading we need “righteousness.” Program material describes it as “progress, not perfection.” Whatever words we use, its indication is one of proper alignment or relationship with the God, who is the Ultimate Good, coupled with an understanding that stagnation is not an option. Failure to progress is decline. Growth along that Way will result in one common destiny for all who faithfully follow: abundant life that never dies even when the body does.

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From my reading through the Bible, currently in Song of Songs 1 through 8:

The next eight chapters of the Bible make up what has been called the “Song of Solomon” or the “Song of Songs.” Even though the former identifies the literal author, I prefer the latter, because it doesn’t. The whole song is a romantic interaction of a lover to his bride, admittedly King Solomon to one of his queens. It is graphically descriptive and passionately heated, but has more to do with the spiritual intercourse between God and humankind than the physical consummation of earthly nuptials of the king and his queen bride. It celebrates spiritual union the redeemed experience here in the temporal world as well as the anticipated eternal communion of the Church as Christ’s Bride in the Heaven to come. It begins with the readiness and eager anticipation of the bride, the “Beloved.”

1:4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

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The Lover speaks to his bride:

4:7 All beautiful you are, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.”

10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!”

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After a brief intimate introduction there is a departure of the groom which causes the bride to pant with anticipation – a fitting allegory for the eagerness with which the redeemed await Christ’s second coming.

6:1 Friends

Where has your lover gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your lover turn,
that we may look for him with you?

Beloved

2 My lover has gone down to his garden,
to the beds of spices,
to browse in the gardens
and to gather lilies.”

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The Beloved repeats this chorus three times, and so I think its message must be significant. I read in it both the utter dependence on the One, and a warning not to depend on or give oneself away to any other.

8:3 His left arm is under my head
and his right arm embraces me.
4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.”

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The prescription of the Song is abstinence from any and all corruption of the purity that should be preserved for the Redeemer who waits for us. The grandness of grace is that soiled robes can be made white again, and blemished skin can be made milky by His washing. Revelation 7:9-14 describes the great multitude none can count, clothed in white robes, made that way by the blood of the Lamb. Revelation 19:7-9 explains that it is those so dressed, who have made themselves ready as members of the Bride, who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb.

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From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 99-100:

“Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God.”

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