Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  The sixth of June!  While the world commemorates D-Day, America remembers her fallen heroes, and my father-in-law celebrates his birthday, I am celebrating one more day of abstinence God has graciously allowed me to string together with 756 days before it.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“We then find that, to deal with our inner turmoil, we have to have a new way of thinking, of acting on life rather than reacting to it…” — Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition, pp. 2-3

 

I have often said that this statement, read at the beginning of most of the meetings I attend, along with the closing statement of, “You’re worth it!” are two of the primary reprogramming points of my recovery.  “Acting on life rather than reacting to it” is a good way to sum up the difference between life before and life in recovery.  Now, we do what we choose according to a plan, consistent with directives we believe we receive from a Higher Power.  No longer do we respond based on what we feel like.  No longer do our emotions run the show!

 

The great thing is that we have not become automatons, moving about with no feeling at all.  We still have turmoil, but we are learning to experience it without it disrupting our lives.  On this basis, we are freed to experience a full range of emotions without it costing us or those around us our sanity.  It is the behavioral reprogramming defined by the phrase “program of recovery.”

 

 

From Proverbs 6:

27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?”

 

My earthly father had a saying that, according to him, was the one lesson he wanted his children to remember if they remembered nothing else.  It was simply, “Behavior has consequences!” My mother had one like it, “Life is full of choices.”  I always thought those two came together nicely in a marriage of truth and wisdom.  Every action I choose will have a ripple effect.  Whether I personally feel those ripples now, later, or never does not change the fact that there will always be consequences to my actions.

 

I want to make choices that improve the lives of people, including me, not detract from them.  The best way to overcome my tendency to act on compulsion is to plan a set of actions and follow that plan, with total disregard for the emotional turbulence or the whims of selfishness.  With this sort of respect for the children of God, who are the temples of His Spirit, I am living relationships on a higher level.  No longer living beneath others, like one of H. G. Wells’ Morlocks, snatching up Eloi and gobbling them up as I have opportunity, I am now freed to celebrate life in the sun with the other creatures who have learned to accept hardship as part of life, and yet do what the Spirit encourages me to do to change the things I can.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 138, 139, and 140:

I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.”

 

Since the dawning of the kingdom of Heaven at the arrival of the Holy Spirit, the holy temple of God is the human redeemed by Christ and indwelt by His Spirit.  1 Corinthians 6:19, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?”  In an amazing orchestration of congruence, God has put before me today the propriety of humility with the understanding of consequence in the reflection on Proverbs, and topped it with this verse from Psalm 138 that rotates my interpersonal relationships underneath the one between Him and me.  The Name and Word of the Lord is above all things (references John 1:1-4, 14; Revelation 19:13), and I am bowed down to not just Him, but His people, in subordination to that first relationship, for the sake of and as honor to His love and faithfulness.

 

I love the way God weaves together His Living Word to bless and encourage!  It’s mind-blowing, bone-marrow-piercing, and spirit dividing!  (reference Hebrews 4:12)

 

Psalm 139 contains what I needed to fully grasp when I came into a recovery program: that I was properly made, but that I had veered from the plan.  God knows what He is doing, and understands the pain I have improperly medicated with food and misbehavior.  He knows my thoughts before I think them and has provided a Way for me if I choose to avail myself of His Life.  From before my origin to eternity, this Psalm describes the everlasting, loving care of God for me, as my soul sings along with the words of David:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”

 

There is nothing wrong with me that God isn’t ready, willing, and able to redeem and justify according to His perfect will.  These last two verses are a pivotal part of my personal 10th Step prayer.  This combination of texts keeps me aware that I am a valuable, miraculous creation of the Emperor of the Universe, and He is intimately involved with me.  As such, I know that I am worth doing whatever is necessary for me to maintain this right relationship with Him.

 

Psalm 140 reminds me that a war is going on that I sometimes forget to see.  Like a sheep at pasture, with my focus on romping in the glory of His sun and grazing on the bounty of His providence, it is easy to forget that God is always on guard against attacks, both spiritual and physical.  There is no shortage of predators and thieves who would seek to devour my flesh or steal my joy.  Praise be to God, who rescues us in all our trouble!

Rescue me, O Lord, from evil men;
protect me from men of violence,
who devise evil plans in their hearts
and stir up war every day.”

 

El Shaddai, thank You for sheltering me in Your shadow. (reference Psalm 91)  There I will rest and play, freed to love Your children, as You have created me to do.

 

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 19-20:

“Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”

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