Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.  My “ridiculously busy day” yesterday went from hurried to heightened to helpless.  Perhaps I was too bent on being helpful and not focused enough on letting God do the helping through me.  Of my four big appointments yesterday, one was miraculously cancelled, but that cancellation started a day-long telephonic struggle to arrange another.  For the next, I arrived only to discover I was ill-prepared and unable to help to the extent I was expected, leaving both me and the other party disappointed.  The last was a family funeral assembly to which I was prevented from arriving by circumstances outside my control, and the formal ceremony and interment was changed to a time I cannot attend.  The events of the day left me with a feeling of helplessness which, in my case, I guess is a good thing except for the cloud of disappointment I am praying for God to whisk away.  The lesson for me is that I am not a hero or anyone’s higher power, but one of innumerable vessels through which God can pour out His blessings when and to the extent He chooses.  For some reason, likely my own lesson in humility, He put the lid on me yesterday, and part of that even carried over to today’s plans for ministry.  (Today’s number one appointment was cancelled before yesterday’s schedule was completely revealed.)

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Those who have studied them carefully have found that these Traditions can be applied effectively to all human relationships, both inside and outside OA.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 108

I remember the first few varied format meetings I attended in which the Traditions were the topic of reading and discussion.  My response was similar to others I have witnessed in meetings since: impatience with the technical and preference for the more self-centered parts of recovery.  It has been said that the Steps help us deal with ourselves while the Traditions help us deal with others.  I find that what is wrong with me is mostly represented by my behavior toward others.  We tend to live between the resentments of the past and the anxieties of the future, and most of those have to do more with our relationships than with anything else.  The Traditions help me keep a proper perspective regarding relationships, establishing practical framework for the general concept of humility – my proper positioning between God and man.

From Proverbs 31:

12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

The Proverbs 31 “wife of noble character” described in this Epilogue of Proverbs, is a picture of the perfect wife, and as such, stands as a model for the “Bride of Christ” the Church to follow.  Verse 12 reminds me that in order to do the best service for Christ the Groom, I must first abstain from any divisive or derogatory representation of Him or His.  How many in peril have refrained from grabbing hold of a rescue belt only for resentment of the crew that tossed it!  The reputation of the Church is sullied by so many that the King whose Church it is and the Spirit by which He works must be greatly grieved to love so diligently only to overcome the harm done by half-way followers.

Spirit of Immanuel, God with us, fill me so completely that none of me is left to obscure the Light by which mankind can be saved.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 120, 121, and 122:

Save me, O Lord, from lying lips
and from deceitful tongues.”

The writer of Psalm 120 described himself as “a man of peace” among those who are for war.  Even though there is no other indication that he penned this psalm, I can’t help but think of David, the ancestor and prophetic foreshadow of Christ.  This verse is yet another call for the silence of the self-motivated, lukewarm, or total miscredent against the purposes of God.  The Holy One is not bashful about silencing even His closest, most trusted servants when their motives are not in alignment with His.  He even rebuked His friend, Peter, the “Rock” on which He would build His Church*, in Matthew 16:23, “Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.’”

(*reference Matthew 16:18, “you are Peter, [Peter means rock.] and on this rock I will build my church”)

Psalm 121 is a song of God’s deliverance and watchful care, and it begins with the acknowledgement of the Creator as the source of any power there is, and a commitment to rely wholly on Him.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.”

Those two verses are also the chorus of a song by Casting Crowns called “Praise You in This Storm” which I find uplifting as I listen to it regularly.

The “you” and “your” of Psalm 122, which is actually a psalm of David, refers to Jerusalem, the Scriptural foreshadow of the Church.  This understanding gives new meaning to verses 8 and 9, not to mention the ironic relevancy to today’s meditation.

For the sake of my brothers and friends,
I will say, ‘Peace be within you.’
For the sake of the house of the Lord our God,
I will seek your prosperity.”

Jesus, High Priest of the Church that is Your betrothed, keep me from harming You or Yours.  Quiet my nature of discord and greed, and let me be a minister of Your peace and prosperity, for the sake of Your Name, Your house, and Your children who You love and have called me to love.  Amen!

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous:

“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” (page 77)

 

“We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing.” (page 69)

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