Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“This program is not a once-in-a-while thing. It is an everyday commitment. The abstinence is for the fat downstairs and the Twelve Steps are for the fat upstairs—in the head.” — Overeaters Anonymous, First Edition, p.150

 

There is a part of me that bargains with another part of me, trying to do less, drawing me to return to the abnormal lifestyle from which I have escaped.  The “fat upstairs” that pretends it has been robbed of its identity still demands a hearing in the audience chamber of my head, and it protests with especially passionate volume on special occasions that tradition has marked as “feasts.”  The juvenile nature of its arguments are marked by the telltale themes of “why not me?” “I want!” and “It’s just not fair!”  Remembering that it was this raving tyrant who imprisoned me in a sarcophagus of fat as though I were already dead helps me to maintain a sense of justice as I daily sentence that incorrigible delinquent to death.

 

Great Judge of Kings, rescue me from the slavery of self!

 

 

From Proverbs 25:

There are two verses that caught my attention from the Proverbs reading today, both for seemingly silly reasons.  The first because it mentioned the audience chamber of a king while my mind was coming off the VOR reflection bearing the same setting, and the second because it mentioned a dysfunctional well, which is a concern at my house recently due to a receding aquifer.  The problem with the two verses is that they have a common message, which suggests that the One bringing me the message is trying to get my attention.

 

remove the wicked from the king’s presence,
and his throne will be established through righteousness.”

 

26 Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.”

 

Highest Power, my Lord and Savior, reveal and remove any wickedness to which I have given way, and establish my integrity in Your righteousness.  Clear my entire life of obstructions to Your Spirit, and let Your Grace pour through me, onto any with whom I have contact.  “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)   For the sake of Jesus’ precious name, in which I pray, Amen!

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 109 and 110:

Psalm 109 is a litany of curses David called down on his assailants, at the same time, petitioning God for His blessing over himself.  While David is known as “the man after God’s own heart,” this enigmatic discourse calls to mind another reference to dysfunctional wells in James 3:10-11, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”

 

David cursed the cursing accuser with words that indicate the nature of cursing itself: as a toxin that seeps to the deepest part of the one dispensing it, a bitterness that corrupts the total nature of its container.

18 He wore cursing as his garment;
it entered into his body like water,
into his bones like oil.”

 

In case there was any denying that the Spirit was addressing me, the recovering compulsive eater, He readdressed the message in terms to which I could not deny relationship:

 

29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace
and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.”

 

How better to describe the fat, both upstairs and down, than as a clothing of disgrace, a cloak of shame!  I have said before, “Fat is hate’s physical form,” but this even says it better.

 

Father, I prayed for You to reveal and remove, and I thank You for Your quickness to act and faithfulness to continue Your work in me toward completion.  I acknowledge that cursing and the bitterness that fuels it are corruptions of my well, muddying of the spring through which I want Your Spirit to have full-flowing conduit.  I pray that You now remove this defect of character, and any others which stand in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.  Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding, only, always.  In Your name, help me love all and harm none.  Amen!

 

Psalm 110 would be a complete and utter mystery were it not for its completion in Christ Jesus, with its reference to “the LORD” and King David’s “lord,” and this lord being “a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek.”  (Reference link)  What spoke to me on this occasion was the instruction of the LORD to this Lord, priest, majestic, scepter-wielding, “from the womb of the dawn” person who was as yet unnamed: “1b Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”  The message is to wait for God to do what He will do, a reminder that it is He who sanctifies, He who removes defects.  My job, as if a shadow of the priests of that same order, is the daily sacrifice of self-will; it is the High Priest who presents the sacrifice and administers the Fire that consumes it and translates the pleasant aroma of that exchange to the Father on His throne.  “The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel’s hand.” (Revelation 8:4)

 

God, I offer myself to Thee!

 

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85:

“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.”

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