Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“…we were never meant to face this disease in isolation.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, page 16

 

Any competent enemy knows that we are more vulnerable separate than together.  “Divide and conquer,” is a proven military concept.  Our disease is one of seduction.  It sweet-talks us into covert indulgence, convicts us with shame, incarcerates us in self-loathing, and seals our isolation with a disdain for others who we pretend are the problem.  This was the intent of our enemy, the destroyer, all along; but it is the intent of the Creator that we should have life to the fullest extent possible.  The ransom paid, lock sprung, door open, all that remains is for us is to turn from our corners of dark despair toward the Messenger of Light and take the hand of our Rescuer.  There is a celebration going on in our honor, and all in attendance are waiting for us to join the party.  The Fellowship of the Living is bigger than OA, AA, NA or the Twelve Steps.  Food obsession is just one of many starting points, a cell block in a prison vastly networked throughout earth, but as many as will come have found through the Redeeming Savior, freedom, fellowship, and fulfillment the likes of which is not possible by human intervention.

 

From Proverbs 22:

13 The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion outside!’ or, ‘I will be murdered in the streets!’”

 

It took a long time for me to understand this verse.  Would not even a responsible, diligent man flee into the house and announce the presence of an approaching lion?  Perhaps he might, but I believe the point of this proverb is that there is never a shortage of excuses for those looking for them.  I know I have never needed a reason not to act, but until I found a motivation toward the action I was avoiding, my attitude could only be classified as that of a sluggard.  Speaking as one whose primary programming is preset to park the posterior, I can say that overcoming that preference and engaging in the life bestowed on me by my Higher Power far exceeds any perceived advantage of hiding from it.

 

I used to emphatically declare that I hated change, but was also first to complain about the way things were for me.  This is one of the insanities I uncovered in the First Step.  The excuses for not changing boiled down to only one: I did not want to, plain and simple.  Once I recognized that only some change is bad, and that any growth at all represents some kind of change, I became willing to get behind some of these changes and creep out of my comfort zone.  Now that I have experienced the abundant life beyond the doors of my shadowy solitude, I eagerly await the next revelation of God’s will for me, even should it hold lions or murderers in store.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 103 and 104:

Psalm 103 reminds me that there is nothing wrong with me that God isn’t aware of and capable of fixing.  Not only so, but He is eagerly waiting for me to be ready for the restoration to begin.

 

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.”

 

God doesn’t mind if I am human.  It is He who made me that way!  He doesn’t expect perfection; in fact, He’s waiting for most of us to realize human perfection is unattainable.  He waits patiently for us to come to Him for all the blessings we spent our lives trying to grab for ourselves.

 

Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

 

Psalm 104 is a poetic dance of awe through the magnificence of Nature and the Creator who fashioned it and continues to maintain it.  I love how the psalmist celebrates the dependence on God as a universal necessity for man and beast, fish and fowl.  Even the elements testify to His goodness!

 

24 How many are your works, O Lord!
In wisdom you made them all;
the earth is full of your creatures.”

 

27 These all look to you
to give them their food at the proper time.
28 When you give it to them,
they gather it up;
when you open your hand,
they are satisfied with good things.
29 When you hide your face,
they are terrified;
when you take away their breath,
they die and return to the dust.
30 When you send your Spirit,
they are created,
and you renew the face of the earth.”

 

Lord, send forth Your Spirit and we will be created; and You will renew the face of the earth.  Make Your changes happen, Papa.  I am ready!  When You open Your hand I will be satisfied with the good things You give.

 

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 50:

“There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.”

Advertisements