Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.

I was already struck this morning by the magnificence of the way God has described Himself merely as “I AM.”  (Exodus 3:14)  So struck was I, that my responsive prayer was simply, “Be!”  In that small syllable, I felt as though all the greatness of God was released into all my smallness.  Where I am not, He is.  What I cannot, He can.  Where I will not, He will.  What I am not, He is, was, and will be.  Because He IS, I have nothing to fear or regret!  Almighty ‘I AM,’ please continue to BE.

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 27

 

The point where each of us “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him,” in the Third Step was a pivotal moment in our lives.  The strange fact is that we continue to make that decision daily, repeatedly, at every turn and step.  There seems to be a constant pulling away from that decision, so it is critically important that we not only  make the decision, but that we make a commitment to that decision, that we surrender our will and our lives, and commit to refrain or “abstain” from taking them back.  This rendering of control is paradoxically liberating, rather than debilitating as one might expect, freeing each of us of the anxiety of what hasn’t happened yet and the regrets of what didn’t happen before.  No wonder this quote is proven in the lives of those innumerable masses who have found recovery.  Its cousin statement further expands the word “truly” in this quote, when we read, “The more total our surrender, the more fully realized our freedom from food obsession.” (Overeaters Anonymous, from “Our Invitation to You”)  When we truly and completely wring our will and life out in the hands of God, there is no way He can do anything but His perfect will in us.

 

From Proverbs 17:

A wicked man listens to evil lips;
a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.”

 

My quadriplegic friend recently was permitted, with the use of a lifting frame, to stand on his own paralyzed legs for the first time since the onset of his condition almost a year ago.  He described strange sensations as the blood rushed from his upper body into the legs that lay motionless for so long.  The legs themselves reacted like dry sponges under a faucet of life-giving blood.  This posture was revitalizing to the musculoskeletal structure of his legs, even though his nerves remain unable to motivate them.  When I read this morning of Third Step surrender, and wrote of the completeness of the wringing out of self, I was extra sensitive to the caution contained in this proverb.  It is those rendered empty who need to be extra cautious of what fills them.  Like legs that hang limp, my life is empty of power, will and purpose until I am filled with the Spirit who reconditions, revitalizes, and restores me.  Why let my emptiness be refilled with poison?  Those re-programming their minds, bodies and spirits should be extra vigilant in their guard against faulty input from soiled sources.  As I read this verse, I couldn’t help but examine myself with the questions, “What lips have I been listening to?” and, “To what tongues have I been paying attention?”  The fact is that perversion and diversion is everywhere.  The destroyer is bent on distracting me from my purpose to love and to serve those around me, and spreading the cancer of despair as far and wide as he can.  I need to filter my ears and my mind against his awful attacks, and choose not to indulge the lusting ear of evil any more than I indulge the tongue in its fancies.  Are my entertainment choices making me better instruments of God’s grace or worse?

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 91 and 92:

Psalm 91 is a great Scripture of protection and deliverance.

 

14 ‘Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.’”

 

I have often prayed pieces of this chapter and watched the hand of God save me from all sorts of horrors.  Once, as I prayed verse 7, “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you,” lightning struck a tree that fell on the car traveling next to me, but I was spared.  I love the promise of this chapter!

 

Psalm 92 is a song of praise.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord;
I sing for joy at the works of your hands.”

 

I am filled with joy and gratitude for the greatness of God, of which I have but a meager glimpse.  The acquaintance of His goodness and the connection to Him to which He brings me elates me!  Thank You, Heavenly Father, not just for what You have done for me, but for Who You Are to me.  Halleluiah!  Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

 

 

From The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, page 26:

“What it takes to work step three is a real willingness to live by God’s will, one day at a time. Having this willingness, we do not let any doubt or confusion we may still have keep us from acting. We concentrate on wherever or whatever we think God might be, and we say out loud, in words of our own choosing, that we now turn our will and our lives over to our Higher Power, holding nothing back.”

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