I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.



From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“The God of my understanding is powerful and interested in everything about me. He guides and protects me, showing me the way. The Eleventh Step reveals the easiest and softest way: ‘…. praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.’ I trusted God with my food, and God has given me a life.”


The contributor of today’s VOR entry well described an evolution of understanding that accompanies the development of our knowledge of His will for us.  I believe that when we connect with God, even in the brief glimpse we catch of Him through the eclipsing clouds of despair when we find ourselves willing, maybe for the first time, to ask for His help, we embark on a relationship.  That relationship is built stronger, in better understanding, and in a deeper knowledge of who He is each time we turn to Him and submit to His will and power.  Invariably, He demonstrates that what He most wants is to build relationship.  This relationship is at the center of everything He has done, including every chapter of deliverance from Abraham to Joseph to Moses to Christ to the budding recovery I see in my mirror.


Focusing on the revelation of His will and demonstration of His power keeps me from relying on my limited understanding and carnal effort.  When I become nothing, sacrificing the motives, thoughts, wishes, and ways of my flesh, and exchanging them for whatever He pleases to bring into my life, I find peace accompanies the purpose, power and provision He brings.  When I trust that He will be there, I find myself able to let go of anxiety about tomorrow.  When I recognize interruptions in my schedule as divine interventions, detours, answers to my prayer to show me His way, I am no longer disturbed by them.  Any feeling of disappointment is merely the nails tearing at the flesh of the self-will I crucify each morning, and a reminder to abstain from serving that corpse.  “I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”  (Galatians 2:20)


I am grateful for the knowledge that I do not have all knowledge, but that He is willing to reveal to me a little bit more of Himself each time I seek Him.  Even had I started with no better understanding of Him than that He is able to make writhing caterpillars into graceful butterflies, He would be worth my following.  It was just such a transformation I sought, and for which I can pay nothing but my gratitude!


From Proverbs 15:

14 The discerning heart seeks knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.


This whole chapter seems to follow a theme of overcoming pride and accepting instruction to unlock the abundant blessing of God.  It is full of guidance for someone like me laying down old patterns and submitting to God’s revitalizing effort.  The irony of this particular verse is twofold.  First, it is the search for knowledge that is described as the characteristic of the discerning, not the possession of it.  So, wisdom is displayed at the onset of the journey when willingness turns to action, not just as a result of achieving some nebulous end.  The second part seemed ironic to me also because the one without wisdom is described as a hopelessly feeding mouth, a description with which I find a gross familiarity.


I was distracted from my routine devotion today with multiple opportunities to serve several of God’s children.  As a result, this writing is being posted later and less complete than usual.  I was not able to read or write on my journey through the Bible.  Instead I got to witness a miracle, and to minister to a family in trouble.  God’s will, not mine!  His will always ends up better, so I’m not really giving up much.  I am learning to make petitions of God with the prayerful caveat, “according to Your will and Wisdom, not mine.”



From Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 123:

“Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God’s help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God’s sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things – these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.” ”