Today:

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.

 

I started my day a hurried, angry mess.  I even wrote so in my paper journal when I didn’t have time to do my typical reading, meditation and writing.  Under it, I wrote this prayer: “God, rescue me from the bondage of self.  It has me in its dungeon and is severely beating me.  Hosanna!  Deliver me now!”  Then I got to church late, so I must have missed the part when the preacher addressed his sermon to me specifically, but the whole context of it seemed to be pointed at my soul and spirit.  The Scripture reference was James 1:2-18, and the delivery was a mathematical-style “Solution for the Joy Problem.”

 

To sum it up, every positive thing comes from the invariable Father, the Word of Truth; and our every selfish desire yields sin, the product of which is death and the negating of God’s blessing.  As heat, pressure and time combine to complete gemstones, the faith of a true disciple is perfected when endurance is added to suffering, yielding character plus hope with a byproduct of fulfilled satisfaction.  (See Romans 5:3-5.)  So, keeping in mind that disappointment weakens resistance, the successful conversion of trials into opportunities to demonstrate God’s omnipotence builds endurance which, in turn, produces faith in quantity to overcome temptation, ultimately resulting in joy!  The key factor is total surrender regardless of the circumstances – the unconditional lordship of Jesus Christ.  Elementary!

 

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Many of us find that the unconditional acceptance and trust that springs from the practice of anonymity opens us to one another in ways we have never experienced before.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 202

 

Since an addict is really a person programmed with a maladaptive mechanism to cope with resentments and fears, it makes sense that security would have to be a main component in any successful healing environment.  Under the confidential cloak of anonymity a hurting soul can reveal deeper wounds than one concerned about his reputation or identity being marred by the association with those secrets.  Once the underlying issues are exposed and addressed, personal anonymity may cease to be as great a need for the recovering addict, but remains critically important to those still suffering who are, after all, our primary purpose.  The survival of the fellowship and of those it serves depends on maintenance of this key concept: anonymity.

 

 

From Proverbs 22:

1 A good name is more desirable than great riches;
to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”

 

Godly wisdom acknowledges the value of a good reputation, of fellowship, of being loved and accepted.  Most of us carry histories marred by poor choices either of our own or of others close to us.  Like the proverbial* camel through the ‘eye of the needle,’ the anonymity of a recovery meeting room strips those within it of family connections, professional affiliations, economic status, and social standing.  The only thing that matters is who one is at that very moment, what experience, strength and hope one has to share or may need to borrow during that single hour.  It is one of the few safe and accepting places I know to mix with strangers and somehow know enough about them to trust and love them, and to be trusted and loved.  The other is a Christ-centered church.

 

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 40 and 41:

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.”

 

This song of David represents an awakening.  So many go through life hiding from their disappointments, partly because they are so grievous, and partly because they recognize they are the vilest perpetrators of these failures.  Those of us who are rigorously honest will admit that it is our own character defects that offend us most, and not those of others.  Shoving that burden of guilt under a pile of ice cream or alcohol or heroin will only work for a little while.  Sooner or later, they will outnumber the concealer, overtaking their victim so I cannot see, causing my very heart to break.  It is at that breaking point that what I believe becomes faith, when I meet the occasion with the action of reaching out my hand for His and saying, “I can’t, God.  You can.  Please help me!  Only Your mercy can cover my wrongdoing.”

 

Psalm 41 is a short song of David, but it contains three things that screamed for my attention.  Verse 9 contains a prophecy of Jesus Christ and a reference to Judas Iscariot, and I love Old Testament proofs of the Gospel that would be fulfilled hundreds of years later. “9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.”  The other two whammies were two of my recent key words appearing in the same chapter: regard and integrity.  I have decided that “integrity” – oneness, singleness, unity of purpose, direction and power – would be my goal for 2012 and beyond.  “Regard” has been the hinge on which that integrity swings.  When I have felt dis-regard-ed, I know that self has taken center stage, and I have become duplicitous, intending to serve God but edging Him out of His own spotlight for the sake of my sinful pride.  When I do what I know to do regard-less of what I feel, and regard-ing others above myself, I am closer to fulfilling my intended purpose.  The blessing of the Creator comes when the creation follows the design and carries out its function.

 

1 Blessed is he who has regard for the weak;
the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. “

 

12 In my integrity you uphold me
and set me in your presence forever.”

 

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 103:

“After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!”

 

 

OD@aT:

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”  3 John 2

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