Today:

I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.

 

 

From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“Humility, as we encounter it in our OA Fellowship, places us neither above nor below other people on some imagined ladder of worth. It places us exactly where we belong, on an equal footing with our fellow beings and in harmony with God.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 60

Humility, as I see it, is the character trait of the humble and the condition of the humiliated.  When I wear God’s esteem for me, I am secure, content to be one of His children, and happy to let His other children have, do, and succeed alongside me.  When I fail to apply God’s esteem for me, but live in my own wavering sense of worth, I find myself in a perpetual swing of insecurity, convinced of my own superiority then, at even the slightest turning of circumstance, waffling to a state of self-loathing, and I cannot bear to watch others win when I feel at such a loss.  All this traumatic bouncing comes not from any change in who or what I am, but in how I perceive myself.  So, equipped with a healthy understanding of my identity under the Creator and alongside my fellows, I can accept His value with confidence.

We are each fearfully and wonderfully made*, and worth whatever it takes to live according to the Maker’s design.   (* Psalm 139:14

My Creator was careful at my creation, mournful at my rebellion, diligent at my redemption, and joyful at my return.  He is faithful in my need, generous in my want, unyielding in my selfishness, eager for my holiness, but patient with my pace, and won’t be satisfied till our eternal reunion. 

 

 

From Proverbs 13:

10 Pride only breeds quarrels,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

It is difficult to learn from someone whose neck you are stepping on.  It is said that “pride puffs up” and I have found this to be so true that it apparently blocks the ear canals of their hearing.  Pride is the manic overestimation of self-value that precedes a violent drop into self-loathing despair.  I am learning that it is better for my long-term health (spiritual, emotional, and physical) if I respond to argumentative statements with, “You may be right!” rather than to perpetuate the fray.  An added benefit to defusing disputes this way is there is more likelihood I might find value in the other person’s point in later reflection, and would have much less shame in admitting it than if I had put my combat boot-clad foot down.

 

 

From my reading through the Bible, currently in Psalm 25 and 26:

A couple of verses of Chapter 25 called out to me this morning, especially in light of these reflections on humility.  The first one makes reference to “shame,” a word I associate with humiliation, the forced version of humility; and also “my enemies” which, as I have mentioned in previous posts, I associate with my character defects, and not necessarily human beings.  (See Ephesians 6:12.)

2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.”

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.”

 This second one reminded me of part of the Third Step Prayer, which I sometimes change to, “Rescue (rather than ‘relieve’) me from the bondage of self…”  In my heart this magnifies the severity of my condition, and gives greater credit to the Deliverer.  A person taking a beating would prefer to have the beatings stop than slow down.  The bondage of self was and continues to be a snare from which I repeatedly need God’s deliverance!  Hosanna, save us now!

Psalm 26 is a prayer for God’s vindication of the righteous.  It concludes with a statement that encourages me not to keep silent about my Higher Power in Whom I trust, and makes me grateful for the firm path He has chosen for me.

12 My feet stand on level ground;

in the great assembly I will praise the LORD.”

 

 

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Back-Slider”*:

“It is a striking thought that God never forces anyone to do His will, that His help is ever available but has to be sought in all earnestness and humility.”

* “The Back-Slider” one of the Personal Stories in the First and Second Editions of Alcoholics Anonymous, was omitted from the Third and Fourth Editions.

 

 

OD@aT:

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”  3 John 2

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